Thought you blokes might get a giggle or two from these.

> A man is sitting in an airliner, which is about to

> > take off when another man with a Labrador Retriever

> > occupies the 2 empty seats beside him.

> >

> > The Lab is situated in the middle, and the first man

> > is looking quizzically at the dog when the second

> > man explains that they work for the airline. The

> > airline rep said,"Don't mind Sniffer;he is a sniffing

> > dog, the best there is; I'll show you once we get

> > airborne when I put him to work."

> >

> > The plane takes off and levels out when the handler

> > says to the first man,"Watch this." He tells the dog,

> > "Sniffer, search." Sniffer jumps down, walks along

> > the aisle, and sits next to a woman for a few seconds.

> > It then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the

> > handler's arm. He says "Good boy." The airline rep

> > turns to the first man and says, "That woman is in

> > possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of this

> > and her seat number for the police who will apprehend

> > her on arrival."

> >

> > "Fantastic!" replies the first man.

> >

> > Once again he sends Sniffer to search the aisles.The

> > Lab sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few

> > seconds, returns to its seat, and places two paws on

> > the handlers arm. The airline rep says, "That man is

> > carrying cocaine, so again I'm making a note of this

> > and the seat number."

> >

> > I like it!" says the first man.

> >

> > A third time the rep sends Sniffer to search the aisles.

> > Sniffer goes up and down the plane and after a while

> > sits down next to someone. He then comes racing back,

> > jumps up onto his seat, and poops all over the place.

> >

> > The first man is really grossed out by this behaviour

> > from a supposedly well-trained sniffing dog and asks,

> > "What's going on ?"

> >

> > The handler nervously replies, "He just found a bomb"

> >

> > *****************************************************************

> > Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors

> and

> > lawyers and prospered. Some years later, hey chatted after having dinner

> > together. They discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their

> > elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

> >

> > The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

> >

> > The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theatre built in the

> > house."

> >

> > The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600."

> >

> > The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the

> Bible

> > and you know she can't read it anymore because she can't see very well.

I

> > met this priest who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire

> Bible.

> > It took twenty priests 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to

> contribute

> > $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it.

Mama

> > just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

> >

> > The other brothers were impressed.

> >

> > After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

> >

> > She wrote:

> >

> > "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I

> have

> > to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

> >

> > "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries

> delivered,

> > so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

> >

> > "Michael, you give me an expensive theatre with Dolby sound, it could

hold

> > 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm

> nearly

> > blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

> >

> > "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a

> > little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

Rick.

Very good, too funny!

Hmmmm !!!!

Did you know that one of my poor French fellow did one week in the US jail for the use of this sort of humour ?

I hope that we don’t have any airline pilot on this board!!!! They could nail you for this.

I had a good laugh myself with your joke, but I guess you're baned for a good time now!