Apparently the following are excerpts from actual answers given on history tests and U.S. Sunday school quizzes by children in the 5th and 6th grades, collected by two teachers over a three year period.

Read carefully for grammar,and of course, spelling.

Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence.

Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand". He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest President. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.

On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theatre and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's carrer.

As I like to spread things around, I think I'll pick on the Poms next.

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen".

As a Queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "HURRAH" and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.

Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.

Here's a few extras.

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.

Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advise. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently piosonous. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out "Same to you, Brutus".

Rick.

:devious: :devious:

ROFL ROFL

pure gold

Andrew

Priceless. My favorite is the one about Queen Elizabeth.

Uhhh That just dont make no senseROFL

That's just all too sick! (I know you'll get it!)

Will

Very funny! I'm going to pass this along.

:cry:

I must admit to being a little disapointed.

Carl hasn't responded with his usual highly inteligent comments and Tanny's wonderful sense of humour is sorely missed.

Rick.

:(

Sorry Rick, Guess that I missed that this was meant as humor. (wink,wink, nod, nod) I took it as another sad commentary on the US School System. What is the worst, is that these children are being taught by people of my age. :stupid: :stupid: Oh, and they want more of my tax money to do this "quality work".

Ah, yes, Carl,

As the saying goes, "From out of the mouths of babes".

What really gets me is that some of the "incorrect" words are more difficult to spell than the correct words, and the grammar alone sent me into hysterics.

E.G. the two items on Abraham Lincoln.

Good fun.

Rick.

:devious: :devious:

I think these kid's interpretation of history is probably more truthful and useful than most textbooks. Way more interesting and funny. Thankfully just got home from LA, home to all road rage and insane driving. And I was just starting to get into the ultra aggression mood and adapt to their ways. Was even considering buying a gatling gun but left too soon. Back in my rocking chair now. By the way, my sister had two car nut acquaintances from New Zealand stay with her while I was there and it was their first trip to the US. They had planned on renting a car, but on their trip via bus to my sister's place, they saw the LA traffic and were scared so sh*tless they decided not to rent a car for their two week stay. Those Kiwi country roads just didn't prepare them for the terror of the LA freeways. Poor lads eyes were like saucers. But they were quite enthused over all the old cars in such great condition in So. Cal. And they were really stoked to see all the Calif. girls. Like two blind dogs in a meat house. Tongues were calloused from dragging on the ground. Wish I'd had time to check out some junkyards for Z stuff. Victor.

Glad to see you're back mate.

You mean to tell me that there are STILL some old classics left in old Californy ?.

The car mag I buy each month which is dedicated solely to ads by owners wanting to sell their cars has a few ads from companies that import cars from the land of the great bald eagle into the land of the southern cross and practically every car they list is described as a rust free California car. Classics must be getting rather scarce over there.

Doesn't surprise me that the Kiwis were dragging their toungues on the ground at the sight of those California Girls. After all mate, their more used to the wooly variety of females. LOL

Rick.

It has always amazed me that 90% of the Zs that you see for sale have been both stored for twenty years(not 21 or 19 years) and were never driven outside of the no-rust states of California or Arizona(there is about a thousand miles of severe rust salt water coastline in CA, but I suspect that anyone who can afford to live on the coast buys Ferraris, not Datsuns). I guess Datsun must have enforced some mysterious export laws requiring all Zs to be sold only to people who were never going to move from AZ or CA and who would be storing them(inside only) for twenty years. I wonder if these traits occur in all classic cars that someone is trying to sell? Mysterious. Victor.

ps My Z was stored inside for 20 years before I purchased it. It really was. He said so. I can prove it. Really.