Jump to content

IGNORED

Parting thoughts before Lithotripsy, that Damned Chicken again!


hls30.com

Recommended Posts

Just before my trip to the land of "Bean you in the head and pulverize your kohenes-um, Kidney Stones", I mean. I read this. I hate to think of the dreams I will have as a result of it and the combination of pinkillers, anitinausea, anti inflamitorys, yet another delay in getting my car on the road, and trying to be at 100% before my son gets here-we are not going to make the due date...maybe not the middle of next week!

For those of you who may question, yes, this is the second time in three months my left kidney has chosen to add to the blast media used on my car-there is more to it, but...

Enjoy, laugh, cry, complain, but to quote another member here:

"NO WHINING"! With out further adeu:

A few takes on why the chicken crossed the road..

GEORGE W. BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

JOHN KERRY

It was the wrong chicken, the wrong road, at the wrong time. The memory of that poor chicken wiped out on that road to Cambodia is seared –– seared in my memory.

AL GORE

While few people know this, I actually invented the chicken. I also invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed by myself to bring much greater services to the American people (all of this was invented by me).

RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their own tax dollars. When I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your own money, money the government took from you to build roads specifically for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART

No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a long-standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs whenever the price dropped to a certain level. I can assure you that no little chicken ever gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL

The chicken crossed the road because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? Can't you read the "code words." The chicken was crossing to the "other side." That's what they call it -- "the other side." A chicken crossing the road is actually a "cross dresser." Yes, my friends, that Chicken is obviously gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you too could become gay. I suggest that we should boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I have a dream of a world in the future where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. Then, we shot it and ate it.

JOHN LENNON

Imagine, just imagine all the chickens – crossing the roads in peace listening to my music.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was a historical inevitability based on the economic problems of working chickens living in a capitalistic society that unjustly confines them to the labor side of the road.

SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion by chickens against the power of the state and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on the chicken as it crossed the road without permission.

VOLTAIRE

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to cross the road.

CAPTAIN JAMES KIRK

The chicken crossed the road to go boldly where no chicken has ever gone before.

BILL GATES

I have just released Microsoft's latest software release "eChicken 2004," which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. The latest version of Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of "eChicken 2004."

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road actually move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON

I want to assure you that I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please? And what do you mean by "cross the road"?

COLONEL SANDERS

Did I actually miss cooking a chicken?

Will

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Who's Online   0 Members, 0 Anonymous, 238 Guests (See full list)

    • There are no registered users currently online
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.