Why is semen white and urine yellow ?

So that men can tell if they're coming or going

A blonde needed to send a message to hermother who was overseas. She went into the communications centre, but was told it would cost $50. She said, "I'm desperate to talk to mum, but I don't have any money. Please, I'll do anything for you if you would help me !"

The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?".

"Yes, anything", promised the blonde.

So the man took her into a room down the hall and shut the door.

Then he said, "Get down on your knees".

She did.

"Undo my zipper".

She did.

"Now, take out my willy"

She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his eyes and whispered, 'Okay, go for it".

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and, while holding it close to her lips, she said,

"Hello, MUM ???"

:stupid: :stupid:

Here's a couple of my Male Chauvinist Pig jokes.

How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb in the kitchen ???

Who cares ?? let the bitch cook in the dark.

Why did the woman cross the road ??

More to the point, what was she doing out of the kitchen ???

Oh, yes, by the way, I'm BAAA--AACK.

Rick.

Rick:

Does the Mrs. know you are out of your cage?

ROFLOL gotta tell the future wife the kitchen one ,, hold on I do all the cooking hhhm

Yair, Carl, she knows, but she's in her sewing room creating another masterpiece. Every hour or so I take her a cup of coffee so that she has no reason to come out of there.

Here's tonight's little snippet.

A scantily clad woman is sitting in a bar. Having never shaved in her life, she has a thick, black bush of hair in each arm pit.

She chugs down drinks like a man; every ten minutes or so she raises her arm and flags the bartender for another scotch.

Each time she does the other drinkers at the bar are given an eyeful of her hairy pits.

After a few hours, a drunk at the other end of the bar says to the bartender, "Hey, I'd like to buy Miss Ballerina here a drink". The bartender replies, "She's not a Ballerina, what makes you think she's a Ballerina?".

The drunk says, "Any girl that can lift her leg that high HAS to be a Ballerina".

AND,

Why do women have periods????

Because they deserve them.

What's the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS ???

You can bargain with a terrorist.

Same channel tomorrow night,

Rick.

Good ones, Rick

Guess your vacation was fruitful. Post more!

Having received a special request from Carl,

Cheng Fut ran a takeaway Chinese store in the red light district. Girls were always coming into the store in their skimpy clothes, telling each other about their last customer and swapping penis size stories.

Cheng Fut became so horny one evening he bolted home as soon as he had served his last meal of the day.

"How about a 69?" he asked his wife.

"Are you joking?" she said grumpily.

"Why in hell would I want braised beef in black bean sauce at this time of night?".

AND

An old man with chest pains visits his doctor.

"You are very ill" says the doctor. "There must be no smoking, no drinking, and no sex".

"I can't live like that !" protests the old man.

"Okay," says the doctor, "have one cigarette a day, and one glass of wine".

"What about sex ?" asks the old man.

"Only with your wife", replies the doctor. "You need to avoid all excitement".

AND

Why do men die before their wives ????

They want to.

Why do men pass more gas than women ???

Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong ???

Made her chain too long.

Until tomorrow,

Rick.

why are womens feet shorter than mens?

so they can stand closer to the sink.