The first of the Xmas jokes

Posted November 4, 200420 yr

Santa is getting ready to take his annual leave but, as usual, more and more problems kept coming up.

Four of the elves get food poisoning, the trainee elves are on a "work slow" strike due to low wages, and the toy producing business falls further and further behind schedule.

Then the missus tells him her mother is coming to visit.

When Santa goes outside to harness the reindeer he finds that half of them have sauntered off to the waterhole for the afternoon because they don't feel appreciated. More stress.

Then, when Santa begins loading the sleigh, a board cracks and his sack of toys falls off, slipping and sliding all over the snow.

Frustrated, Santa goes into the house for a long glass of bourbon, but the elves have hit the liquor cabinet and there's nothing left to drink.

In disgust, he throws his emoty glass down and it explodes into bits all over the floor.

Just then, the doorbell rings and the cursing, grumbling Santa throws open the door.

A little angel is standing on his doorstep with a great big xmas tree. The angel asks so sweetly, "Santa, where would you like me to put this?".

And that, my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the xmas tree.

Rick.

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November 4, 200420 yr

comment_100680

I dont know whats better the joke or your signature, either way they provided me with a good laugh

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November 7, 200420 yr

comment_100970

The second Xmas joke of 2004

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November 7, 200420 yr

comment_100986

Gor the last few years I've put together a CD of Christmas tunes for myself. This year's includes:

South Park- Merry F- christmas

- Mr.Hanky

Otis redding- Merry Christmas baby

TSO- (with Mettalica, of course)

foxworthy- redneck 12 Days

Ramones - Merry Christmas

Sex Pistols- Punk Rock Christmas

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November 7, 200420 yr

comment_100989

Those are truely priceless! Carl you can realy find the pictures on any topic -when you start with a sheep on a motorcyclye, there is no where to go butt up! Literally

Tomohawk, have you got "Ho, Ho, F-cking Ho, What a Crock of Sh-t" don't know who sings it, or its real name, but when I go to any computer store with Macdonalds workers manning the wares, and no childeren around, it usually ends up imbedded in Windows, to see if anybody in the building knows anything about computers. "Aint I Little Stinker?" Once again, it is the quiet ones you have to worry about!

Will

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November 7, 200420 yr

comment_101016

Will, I have that one. (Ho, Ho, F'ing Ho....)

Also have the Elves FARTING the "10 Days of Christmas" song.

JIB-JAB, gotta love 'em.

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November 8, 200420 yr

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comment_101105

Don't know how ya do it Carl, but you're definitely top dog in one upmanship.

You beat me every time. However, I'm a patient bloke ......., one day .......

Rick.

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November 8, 200420 yr

comment_101144

Rick:

I appologize, Ididn't post as a one-upmanship attempt. Just to add to the Xmas humor data base. Your joke is as funny to me as the photo's. I hope that you'll post more of them.