The Jurry that is...

McDonald's Stella Awards

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella Awards. The Stellas' are named after 81-year old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO:

5TH PLACE - TIED between two very competitive contestants:

Contestant A

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's Son.

Contestant B

A man, 19-year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles, won $74,000

and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda

Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel

of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

4TH PLACE

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500--and medical expenses--after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought for because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked. At the time, Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, had been shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3RD PLACE

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.

2ND PLACE

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

2004 1ST PLACE Award

This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motorhome. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motorhome. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles!

Will

It never ceases to amaze me how utterly moronic jury members can be. I've served on four cases myself, although none like these, and I would have been ejected off these cases in short order! I have NO patience with people that try to justify the "entitlement" mentality of some of these so called victims. Idiots.

OK, I'm done...

The most depressing part of this (to me at least) is that none of these people (or their lawyers) made it to the finals of the Darwin Awards.

What is even worse, it that they are still in the gene pool!

Will

yea the gene pool needs a bit of chlorine , I find it very disgusting how many people seeks ways to avoid work and get paid for their own stupidity , still think having people get a permit to reproduce is a great ideal

What is even worse, it that they are still in the gene pool!

Will

That is what I meant. "The Darwin Awards honor those who improve our gene pool... by removing themselves from it. Of necessity, this honor is (generally) bestowed posthumously."

Samples from the website:

Robert, 37, shot himself while explaining gun safety to his wife in Glendale, California, when he placed a .45-caliber pistol he thought was unloaded under his chin and pulled the trigger. Shovestall's wife told police that the incident occurred after her complaints about her husband's 70 guns prompted him to demonstrate their safety.

A 23-year-old bar-brawler who had been escorted out of the Turtle Club in Florida by a bouncer, sneaked back in and leaped off a staircase, aiming a kick at another man, but was killed when he landed on his head.

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet, didn't put enough postage on a letter bomb, and it came back marked "return to sender." He opened the package and was blown away.

Two animal rights activists were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn by freeing a captive herd. Suddenly all two thousand of pigs stampeded through the gate they were opening, and trampled the hapless protesters to death.

News of the Weird reports that in September 1996 a man was crushed to death on a stairway at the Sammis Real Estate and Insurance office in Huntington, N.Y., while he was stealing the office's 600-pound safe. He apparently violated that cardinal rule of hauling massive objects: Never stand on a step lower than the one the safe is on. The safe was empty at the time of the incident.

In San Jose, California, Herman, an avid hunter, used the butt of his shotgun to bash his girlfriend's windshield during an argument. But his loaded gun accidentally discharged into his stomach, killing him and ending the argument.

"I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure."

End of quotes from website.

Carl,

I knew that! Ypu had a similar post at leat once before on their behalf!

I was just restating the obvious!

Thanks for the qoutes, proof that some of these bozos actually do get purged!

Will

can't believe the winnebago story. how can anyone that dumb live so long and earn enough money to buy a winnebago.someone should write to smith and wesson and warn them to put a disclaimer in their owner's manual-do not put loaded gun barrel in mouth and pull trigger,could be hazardous to your health

hold the voting, we have a new contender for first place

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=19270&item=5534052474&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

So after you eat it, you'd have a "holy $^!#"

I don't know which is more stupid. The seller or the bidder's.

Either way, it is another example of a reason for an IQ test requirement before people are allowed to reproduce.

That's the kind of item I would bid on and not pay. For the simple fact the seller is an idiot and doesn't deserve the $15,000 it's at. Then again the people willing to pay that are idiots.