Raising Boys

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

f) For those who raised girls.....rejoice!

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even togh a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even touh TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will trymixig the Clorox and brake fluid.

25.) Women will not like this very much...

24.) 80% of Men who read this will trymixig the Clorox and brake fluid.

Hey! That's what I'm doing right now!!!!

Good stuff though, thanks for sharing

Dave

"24.) 80% of Men who read this will trymixig the Clorox and brake fluid."

I so want to do that

Take pictures or video.

If the clorox and brake fluid deal is for real, thank God four olds can't read! I raised three kids. There're all grown and have families of their own. At the time of the raising it wasn't funny, but now that it is get even time do I dare tell the grand kids about clorox and brake fluid?

Tom, you're the chemist, why would it smoke???

I'd try it but it would be my luck that I'd make some great new form of chlorine gas!

I donno if its real or not but it would be fun!

what colour was the brake fluid smoke?

thx

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

Children should neither be seen nor heard from - ever again.

(When asked whether he liked children) "Ah yes...boiled or fried."

I like children. If they're properly cooked.

-----W.C Fields

Chlorine and brakefluid make white smoke. Can take a while to react, or can go off quite fast depending on the mix and age. Like anything else with chemicals, it is safe if done properly, but can get out of hand quite easily. Luckily I dodn't go overboard with it.