'Little Johnny and Luck"

[go z racer, go]

I feel lucky, lucky to own a Z car, and lucky to have a good friend like Carl, AKA Bambikiller. Carl and I share a passion for Z cars and Formula One. We also enjoy good jokes, albeit jokes limited for sharing by nature-but good ones just the same. Carl has a seemingly endless supply of jokes too, in particular, "Little Johnny" jokes. Carl will periodically send me a dose making my intolerable mornings a bit brighter. Good friends are hard to come by and everyone should be so lucky.

Having said, clearly we are living in the best of times in terms of communication. Specifically email. Bottom line, sharing thoughts and ideas with those I know living far away without the advent of email would be unthinkable. Why? Well, my penmanship is for $^!#, I don't lick stamps, my parents investment in my four year degree is useless without spell check, and frankly, I'm a lazy SOB. It frightens me to imagine my life without email, life without "Little Johnny." Boy I'm lucky.

BTW, I wonder if Al Gore, having invented the internet, knew that his creation would become the perfect platform where "Little Johnny," and Porn would thrive? Knowing, what little I know about Al Gore, I'm guessing no. But, I bet if you asked him who created "Little Johnny" he would gladly inform you it was him. But I would have draw the line there and call him on it. I would have to call bull-$^!#, even though I once voted for him. He would in turn blame my defiance on his buddy Bill. Okay, I won't go there with the whole Monica thing (deadest hores ih history) but that's was just bad luck.

I wonder if "Little johnny" can even lay claim as an American Icon. I mean it could be as old as civilization itself, "Small Cave Boy," *"Short Greek," or maybe "Medieval Mel." *I mean, cataloguing mature jokes harmlessly as mischievous fictional character was pure genius. That small, yet important editing, made it possible to share off-color jokes with a wider audience. Perhaps "Little Johnny" is "politically corrects" ancestor maybe even credited to cave man known as Bill Maher Sr.

So, can legal prostitution for all be that far behind? You know, prostitution made affordable and convenient? Like the early civilizations of Northern Europe enjoyed. Maybe something along the lines like a 24 hour "Quickie Stop" and "AM/PM/SM," and "Oh thank heaven for 7/11+69." I can almost hear it now "yeah, I'll take a pack of Marlboro Lights, two Scratchers, and a Big Gulp Bitch. Better make that two "Big Gulp Bitches... please."

I have a plan for for women too that will not take away from their passion for shopping at the *Mall - "Hot Dog On A Stick." Maybe if Al Gore had pitched such grandiose ideas to the Nation he would have beaten Bush. At the very least leaving Bush thinking to himself "now that's what talking about... man I hope he wins." Even in defeat, Al could then walk into any bar and never have to pay for his drinks-for life!

Someday, and it can't be soon enough for me, we can all feel lucky, or whatever her name is.