"Are you married or happy?"

Three Stooges

"I spend money I don't have, on things I don't need, to impress people I don't even like."

If at first you don't succeed, get a BIGGER hammer.

"I spend money I don't have, on things I don't need, to impress people I don't even like."

This is a good one.

COPS---"Nobody has a right to hit my sister if they aren't married to her."

Why have I not seen this thread before. Oh well, my favorite.

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

Steven Wright

Everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die!

A couple from the movie, "An Inconvenient Truth",

"An eye for an eye will make us all blind".

"It is difficult to make a man understand something when his salary depends on him not understanding it".

How very true!

This thread is old. Could be fun to bring it back

John J. Rambo: You know what you are. What you're made of. War is in your blood. Don't fight it. You didn't kill for your country. You killed for yourself. God's never gonna make that go away. When you're pushed, killing's as easy as breathing.

What is a murder, but an extroverted suicide? -Monty Python

The passing of time is very important.

Without the passing of time, nothing would happen, or even worse, everything would happen at once!

"They dont last for ever,but at 200k it made it through break in!"