Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.

He concludes by saying;

"Yesterday, 3 Brazillian soldiers were killed".

"OH, NO !!!!!!!" the President exclaimed, "That's terrible !!!!"

His staff is stunned by this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

After a minute or so, the President looks up and asks;

"How many is a Brazillion???".

Rick.

:devious: :devious:

Then a reporter asks Bush, "So what is your official position on Roe versus Wade?".

The President stands quiet for a moment and responds..."Well them folks had to get out of New Orleans one way or the other".

Somewhere, I know that Carl is smiling.

MAKING LOVE

The Italian says, "When I've a finished a makina da love withah my wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floats 6 inches above da bed in ecstacy."

The Frenchman replies. "Zat is noting, when Ah've finished making ze love with ze wife, Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy."

The redneck says, "That aint nothing. When I've finished porkin the ole lady , I git out of bed, walk over to the winder and wipe my weener on the curtains. She hits the freakin' ceiling

This was one of my favourites:

TEST YOUR MORALS:

> >This test only has one question, but it's a very important

> one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you

> stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely

> fictional situation in which you will have to make a

> decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet

> spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due

> consideration to each line.

> >

> > -------------

> >THE SITUATION

> > ------------

> >You are in New Orleans. There is chaos all around you caused

> by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of

> biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a

> major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic

> disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to

> shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people

> swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.

> Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

> >

> > --------

> >THE TEST

> > --------

> >Suddenly you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his

> life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move

> closer. Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize

> who it is. It's the President, George W. Bush. At the same

> time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him

> under forever.

> >You have two options: you can save the life of the

> President, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning

> photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most famous men.

> >

> > ------------

> >THE QUESTION

> > ------------

> >Here's the question, and please give an honest answer...

> >

> >Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go

> with the classic simplicity of black and white?

Oh, JAMES,

Bambi would have LURVED that one mate.

Rick.

:devious: :devious:

I cant help laughing at this one!

this site just isn't the same without him. if he wasn't the most knowlegable zed member he was in the top 5.

this site just isn't the same without him.

Ditto.

Chris

He will be back....

Not likely But i sure miss him

He's gone ! took a shi& and the hogs ate him.