19. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

I thought assteroids were those nuggets next to the hemmoroids. :laugh:

Did you steal (borrow) that list from Steven Wright?

His entire post is kind of Steven Wright-ish. One of my favorite commedians.

Much like our cars some of his quips are classic and will always stay with me.

"I woke up one morning and all my stuff had been stolen...and replaced with exact replicas"

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize"

11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

for the passengers, silly!

good stuff!

Thought I'd add a few more.

If all is not lost, .... where is it ?.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales ?.

What does the Queen of England sing during the National Anthem ?

"God Save Me"?.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular ?.

What is a "Free" gift ?. Aren't ALL gifts free ?.

Why is "Abbreviate" such a long word ?.

How come you never hear of "Gruntled" employees ?.

Why are they called "Apartments" when they are so close together ?.

What would chairs look like if your knees bent the other way ?.

If a 7 - 11 is open 24 hours a day, every day of the year, why are there locks on the doors ?.

Rick.

:devious: :devious:

All I can say is that I feel a lot more like I do now than when I first got here.

Rick go to bed.

Not yet Bill,

It's not midnight, .... gotta see in the new year mate.

New year celebrations are relatively quiet affairs these days. When I was a kid, everyone would be out the front of their homes, waiting for the stroke of midnight and would then bash heck out of old saucepans with a wooden spoon or bang two lids together to bring in the new year, THEN the party would start.

My favorite "instrument" was a small, upturned garbage can with rope through the handles and slung over my shoulder that I'd bash hell out of with a lump of wood.

Ahhhh, yes. In those days we knew how to make our own fun without relying on technology and electronic gadgets.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY YANK MATES.

Rick.

:devious: :devious:

Hey Rick and the good folks down under, I wish you all a prosperous and Happy New Year!

Thanks for all the humor this year Rick, keep us laughing!!

Chris A.

Rick are you from the stone age?

No.......... hell even I remember doing that!! It was great fun.

Come on now Bill,

If I was from the stone age I would have brought in the New Year by bashing two rocks together. (They didn't have saucepans or garbage cans then mate).

No. 1 Pup,

Lachlan,

That was really a fun way to bring in the New Year mate. It was deafening with all the neighbours bashing away on pots, pans, gargage tin lids, whatever they could lay their hands on that would make lots of noise.

Rick.

:devious: :devious: