BUICK

Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CADILLAC

Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions

CAMARO

Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing

CHEVROLET

Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips

Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time

CHEVY

Can Hear Every Valve, Rod, or Lifter Every Time

Can't Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean?

Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet

CHRYSLER

Everyone knows who Lee Iacocca is right? His name IACOCCA stands for:

I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America

Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair (From James Bragg)

Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery

Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions

PT Loser (for PT Cruiser name)

PT Boozer

DODGE

Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater

Design Of Diabolical German Engineer

Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

Damned Old Dudes Going Everywhere

Damn Overhauls Do Get Expensive

Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine

Don't Our Dealers Gouge Everyone

Dodge Neon: Need Engine Overhauled Now (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)

FERRARI

Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively

FIAT

Found In A Trashcan (Sent in by a visitor)

Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation (Sent in by a visitor)

Failure In Italian Automotive Technology

Fix It All the Time

Fix it again, Tony!

Fix It Another Time

FIRESTONE

Firestone Inexplicably Recalls Explosive SUV Tires On Non-stable Explorers (I worked on this one for 2 hours! - Jeff)

Firestone Overstates Reliability Data (The best one I've come up with yet, my personal fav.- Jeff)

FORD

THUNDERBIRD: This Hoopty Usually Needs Daily Engine Repair But It Rolls Downhill (Sent in by Roger_Markowitz)

MUSTANG - Motor Usually Starts Then Almost Never Goes

Ford Owners Recommend Dodge

Full Of Rust Deposits

Faithful, Obedient, Reliable, Dependable

F**KING OLD RETARDED DRIVER

Ford Focus....Ford F**ck Us

F**ker Only Rolls Downhill

Fancy Oil Recycling Device

Found On Rubbish Dump

F***ed Over Road Disaster!

F***ing Oakey's Really Dig'em

F**king Old Retarded Dudes

Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation (Sent in by a visitor)

F***ing Old Rebuilt Dodge (Sent in by a visitor)

Found On Rubbish Dump (Sent in by a visitor)

For Old Retired Drunks (Sent in by a visitor)

Here's a good one: FORD backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot

Here's another good one: FORD backwards --> Driver Relies On Family

Firestone Overstates Reliability Data

First On Recall Day

Fast On Race Day

For Off Road Driving

Fireball On Rear Damage (Sent in by a visitor)

First On Race Day (Sent in by a visitor)

First On Rust and Deterioration

Fix Or Repair Daily

Found On Road, Dead

Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven (Sent in by a visitor)

Fault Of R&D

MUSTANG - Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage

F***ed On Raw Deal

Fast Only Rolling Downhill

Most tasteless one on the page: Found O.J. and Ron`s DNA

Flip Over, Read Directions

Fork Over Remaining Dough

F**king Owners Really Dumb

F***ed On Race Day

(F)illped (O)ver ®esevation (D)ecoration

(F)**ked (O)ver ®ebuilt (D)iahatsu

For Old Retired Dutchmen

GEO

Get Everything Overpriced

Got Everything Overhauled

GM

General Maintenance

Genital Motors

Give More

GiMme

Getting Malignant

Got Me

Grab Me

GMC

God's Mechanical Curse

Garage Man's Companion

Generic Motors Corporation

Got A Mechanic Coming?

Greatest Mistake Created

Great Mountain of Crap

Greasy Messy Contraption

Gay Man's Chevy

Gimme My Checkbook!

Get More Cash!

HONDA

Had One, Never Did Again

Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad's Assistance

Hang On, Not Done Accelerating

Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything (FromJames Bragg)

Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else

Honda Options: No Deal Available!

Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons!

Honda Options Never Deal Affordably

Hang On, No Dealer Acquisitions!

HUMMER

Hope U Made Me Extra Reliable (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)

Huge Ugly Mother, Mostly Eats Resources

HYUNDAI

Here's Y U Never Drive An Import

Hope You Understand: Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive

Hardly Your Understanding New Dealer Allowance Incentive

Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved

Helps You Undergo New Debt After Inception

Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside

Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside

Jeep

Just Empty Every Pocket (Sent in by a visitor)

Just Expect Every Problem (Sent in by a visitor)

Just Eats Every Penny

Just Everybody Else's Parts

Junk Everyone Eventually Piles

Just Expect Extra Payments

Jaguar

Just A Guess U Are Rich (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)

Kia

Keep It Away!

Kick It's arse

Korean Imitation Accord

Korea's Imported Accident

Killer's Imported Asset

Kiss It Away

Killed In Action

Keep Inside Asia

Korea Invades America

KOREAN INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT

Killer Implosion Awaits

Killed In Accident

LAMBORGHINI

Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody's Image

LOTUS

Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious

Maserati

Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements (Sent in by Roger Markowitz)

MAZDA

Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt

Most Are Zealously Duped Always

MERCEDES

My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke - But Efficiency Near Zero

Most Expensive Road Car Everyone Drives Except Steve

Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon

MITSUBISHI

Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete

Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents

(Courtesy James Bragg, FightingChance.com)

May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside (Sent in by a visitor)

Men In Tight Spots Uttering Bulls__t In Sexual Harassment Investigation (Sent in by a visitor)

MOPAR

Match Old Parts As Required

Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly

My Old Pig Ain't Runnin'

Move Over People Are Racing

Mostly Old Parts And Rust

Motor On Pavement After Race

Moments Of Power Are Rare

NISSAN

Need I Say Something About Nothing

Never In Season Simply A No-show

OLDSMOBILE

Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday

Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment

PONTIAC

Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac

Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky arse Crap

Pretty Overpriced Not That I Am Concerned

PORSCHE

PORSCHE- Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can't Have Everything

PLENTY OF REPAIRS SERVICE CAN'T HELP EVERYTHING

Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything

SAAB

Some arse Actually Boughtit!

Styling Absent After Buyout

Backwards >>>> Bad Asses Always Suffocate

Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards (Sent in by one of our visitors)

Sad Attempt At Beauty

Send Another Automobile Back

Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown

Sorry Assed American Buyers

Start Adding Additional Brake fluid

Stop Asking About Brakes!

Sorry As A Bum

SALEEN

Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty

SATURN

Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now

Some Argue That Ubiquitous Repairs Needed

Send Another Towtruck Ubiquitous Repairs Needed

Same American Trash Under Revised Name

SUBARU

Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas

SUBARU backwards is: U R A BUS (You are a bus)

TOYOTA

Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

This One You Oughta Tow Away

To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile

Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away (Sent in by one of our visitors)

Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories

VOLVO

Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options

VW

Virtually Worthless

Very Wonderful

Very Weird

Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise

Volks Who?

"CHRYSLER

Everyone knows who Lee Iacocca is right? His name IACOCCA stands for:

I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America"

Wasn't Lee Iacocca a Ford (found on road dead) man and brought the much loved Mustang?

Ez

One and the same

But i think he moved to or from chrysler before or after ford.

Driver returns on foot. ,<i love that one