So my dad has forgot my birthday...

[sakijo]

My mother and I have the same birthday - ha! what a birthday present that must have been! Anyway, up until about 10 years ago, it was always MY birhtday. Now, it's OUR birthday, but she seems to get all the attention and presents. Roles reversed, I think about what she must have gone through all those years.

If I were in your shoes, I'd babysit and have my friends come over to celebrate my birthday. That way, you at least show your father that you're willing to help him out, even if he treats you like crap, and still manage to have a fun evening. Oh yeah, you'll probably get an a$$ chewing either way - having your friends over or skipping out on him - but at least my scenario gives you a bit of leverage and a lot more "guilt factor." FWIW

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

[Pir0San]

tried to sleep, but couldn't. I think I'm going to wait until I'm already at my girlfriends house to call my dad, and at that time I'm going to tell him politely that it is my b-day, and that I want to spend it with my girlfriend because she's already made plans, whereas my father has no idea what's going on.

[Alfadog]

I wouldn't leave a 7 year old home alone.

Sorry mate, I feel your pain, but don't punish Bre for it...

[1 Bravo 6]

G'day Jeremy,

You've mentioned a little brother, 7 year old Bre and your Dad. I take it that for one reason or another, theres no Mum in the household ????????.

When I was a young bloke, I was in a similar position. My sister was ten years younger and got all the attention which, as with you, pissed me right off.

Now, ... having quite a few years and experience behind me, all that never enters my head, .... it's of no importance whatsoever.

One very good reason is that I MARRIED AND RAISED A FAMILY. There are times when a father DOES show preference to one of his kids. It can be completely inocent, without realising it.

Since you don't mention a sister, I take it that there isn't one, just your adopted sister, Bre.

At the age of 20 you're old enough to understand that some men would give anything to have a daughter. I was like that. More than anything, ... I wanted a daughter but the big bloke upstairs said "No you don't Rick, not in this life". As a consequence, there's a bloody big hole in my life that has never been filled. Fortunately, my son Ken has provided a grandaughter that helps to ease the emptiness I feel. If we had adopted a daughter, I know that she would have been the light of my life and almost everything and everybody would have had to settle for second best. Ken's known that since he was eighteen and it's never bothered him.

Stop and think for a minute mate. In all honesty, ... do you think that what I have said could POSSIBLY apply to your father ????

Rick.

[Pir0San]

yeah, I totally understand that, and I agree with what all you are saying. My main beef is that I feel like he doesn't even really care anymore, which causes me not to care anymore. He just wants to go to a seminar tomorrow for some timeshare so he can get free tickets to vegas, and wants me to babysit. I'll sit and talk with him today, and hopefully he will put me at a higher priority than Vegas.

[280z]

My birthday is tomorrow, and my dad has forgotten it is my birthday. I'm turning 20, not a big deal, but it is when you live at home and your father is absorbed into his favorite child, my adopted sister Bre. He has no idea it's my birthday tomorrow, and he's treating me like utter $^!#, like he usually does. So, because I want to get a point across, I'm not going to tell him until it's too late. He wants me to babysit Bre tomorrow so that he can go to some timeshare seminar, so I'm going to go to my girlfriend's house for dinner, and when he calls me to ask where I am and go off on me for not being home, I'm going to say "oh yeah Dad, I guess you forgot, but it's my birthday today. Since you apparently don't care enough to remember, I'm going to be in company of people who do. Since I don't want to ruin my night, I will talk to you later when I come home." Chances are that this is going to wizz him off, but I'm hoping it will make him realize that he chooses favorites, and that he has a problem when it comes to making time for his kids. I know it's cruel, but sometimes you just have to do something drastic in order for someone to realize that they have a problem.

Chances are that he's just going to make some excuse about being distracted, and that he forgot as a result (which will be totally bogus).

Am I being too harsh, or is this an appropriate way to handle the situation? I know I could be up front and tell him, but I know if I do (and I have tried before) he's just going to go off on me and tell me that I'm being overdramatic.

What do you all think? Sorry, just needed to vent.

ok so if you are gonna go through with that, i think you should take your sister to dinner with you, that way he cant blame you for being irresponsible. and when he does call, dont sound bitter or aggressive, just say that your girlfriend or her family wanted to throw you a little dinner for your birthday and then wait for his reaction. let us know how it goes

[ChrisA]

Please be thankful for your father, even with his faults. Someday he'll be gone and you might regret the times you were angry at him. Trust me, I know first hand.

Regards,

Chris A.

[Ed]

Don't throw fuel on the fire. You're 20 now and YOU should be the bigger man. Do what your Dad asks. Incorporate your own plans AND have a good time. When your Dad wonders what happened tell him the truth. That he forgot your birthday and that it hurt you. Don't take it out on your little sister she is the innocent one here.

Oh yea, one more thing. Happy Birthday!

[Pir0San]

thanks from everyone! I guess I explained what I'm feeling a little bit wrong. I was just mad at my dad last night, because I feel like he's forgetting things, or putting me behind all of his priorities. I do value my dad, he raised me (since my mom is a druggie crackwhore schizophrenic, no joke) but I was feeling mad because I felt like he was forgetting something important (which I reminded him it was my bday today about a week ago) but instead of just getting angry, I'm going to talk to him before dinner rolls around, that way if I have to back out, I can give my girlfriend and her mom prior notice (they baked me a cake and are making me dinner, my girlfriend is awesome). I'm going to try to be respectful, as far as I can be. He should be able to find another person to watch my sister, if need be, but wanted me to do it that way it'd be easier.

I don't mean to take it out on my sister, but she's just put up on a pedastal (no joke), so it makes her an evil little brat overall. She has no respect for anyone, including my father, because he lets her get away/get whatever she wants. I just usually end up being the one who has to clean up after her messes, and I'm the one in the household who has to act as the other parent (since I'm 20), so I get frustrated when I have to deal with stuff last minute (like the seminar).

Overall, I think I'm going to enjoy my day today, as long as Farmer's calls me back about my Z!

Thanks again for everything guys, and don't get me wrong, I love my dad, but yet I get frustrated at him in the same respect. Besides, who can't love someone who gave them their first Z car?

[Pir0San]

1 Bravo 6, I agree with what you're saying about the whole daughter situation, and I do feel that I understand that. I guess I was just looking for one day, where I could be the main priority, but I guess that's kind of childish of me to do, when I look in retrospect . I'm just going to take everyone's advice, and make it the best day that I can.

[Unkle]

Time to move out ! At 20 (happy birthday) you should consider getting

your own place . You'll look back and think this was all so trivial , and

then think crap, my rent is due tomorrow....... . Sorry to Judge Judy

your butt , think of it this way : You are getting nit picky with your

family , and expending too much energy on what everybody else in your

family does and thinks . Things WILL change , but only if you bugger off

and find your own place !

[Pir0San]

, man, trust me, I'd move out if I could. My father is reliant on me for income, because I do all of the billings for his business. He's said he was going to get someone else to do them, but so far I'm the only one that does them right and on a consistent basis. I am going to be moving out in about 2 years for college (the whole reason I'm living at home right now) so at that time, I'm going to have to train someone else to do the billings.