Etiquette For Men

Etiquette For Men

>

>Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

>

>It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a. When a

>heroic dog dies to save his master b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts

>unbuttoning her blouse c. After wrecking your boss' car

>d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game"

>e. When his date is using her teeth

>

>Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out

>of jail within 12 hours.

>

>If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits

>forever, unless you actually marry her.

>

>The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running

>late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time is 6 minutes.

>

>Bitching about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge is

>forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

>

>No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another

>man. In fact, even remembering your buddies birthday is optional.

>

>When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may

>always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask

>who's playing.

>

>It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're

>sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless

>supermodel... and it's free.

>

>Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

>

>If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem.

>You didn't see nothin'.

>

>Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,

>but not both. That's just plain mean.

>

>Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both

>urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an

>almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

>

>The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend" have

>had carnal drunken rampant sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and

>guilty is no reason not to do it again before the discussion about what

>a big mistake it was. ============================

>

>They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to

>the recipient. But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more

>personal and sincere.

>

>

ROFL ROFL