The following are reported to be actual announcements from Church Bulletins.

*Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and the community.

* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.

* This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptised at both ends.

* Tuesday at 4:00pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

* Thursday at 5:00pm there will be a meeting of The Little Mothers Club. All those wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.

* This being Easter Sunday,

we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.

* Next sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.

* The sermon this morning will be, "Jesus Walks On The Water". The sermon tonight will be,"Searching For Jesus".

And, in my opinion, the best of tonight's offering is:

* "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of all those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget to bring your husbands".

Rick.

:devious: :devious:

So Rick,

Just how many rummage sales have you been brought to?

The one in Egypt comes immediately to mind...

You did say you had trouble there!!!

Will

Yair Will,

Had a lot of fun there as well.

Did I tell you about the street seller at the Pyramids who wouldn't take no for an answer ? He followed me for about 100 yards, and kept shoving a model of the sphinx (I think) in my face. He spoke English, but learned a few Australian phrases when I told him where I was going to shove it if he didn't p*ss off, accompanied by a few other expletives, .... he finally got the message. Barb got up me for it, saying that I shouldn't speak to them like that so, when we arrived at the Valley of the Kings, and she started getting hassled, I just let the hawkers hustle her. Any that came near me, I just quietly said, ... .....

P*SS OFF. It worked.

Rick.

:devious: :devious: