Its just story of a man and a woman who have met and some coincident happened!

What so funny about that!

:rolleyes:

Rain,

You've gotta be joking mate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rick.

:devious::devious:

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's waiting room and approached the desk. The receptionist said, "Yes sir, ... what are you seeing the doctor for today?".

"There's something wrong with my ****", he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said,"You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that".

"Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you", he said.

The receptionist replied, "Now you've caused embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private".

The man answered, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone".

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The receptionist smiled smugly and said, "Yes?".

"There's something wrong with my ear", he said.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear sir?".

"I can't wizz out of it", he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

MESS WITH US SENIORS, AND YOU'RE GONNA LOOSE !!!!!

Rick.

:devious::devious:

Great one 1 Bravo 6!

I smiled with that!

here I have another joke!

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.

Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," the doctor says.

The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies, DeNephew.

Its just story of a man and a woman who have met and some coincident happened!

What so funny about that!

:rolleyes:

She got pregnant by getting another dude to do the deed. Her hubby's wasn't working.

I'm sure that it happens a lot.

I can't believe it had to be explained.

Two men walk into a bar............... you'd think they would have ducked.....

What do you cal a gay dinosaur......... a MegaSoreAss...

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur........ a Lickalotapuss...

Little Johnny was sitting on the front steps of his house and his mother was watching him out of the window

She watched him do the following..

He would grab the cat, bite him, put some sweet tarts in his mouth, then move down a step.

After wathing him for a few minutes, she still could'nt really tell what he was doing. he repeatedly bit the cat, put some sweet tarts in his mouth and move down another step....

After a few more minutes, she went out and asked little Johnny what he was playing.

Little Johnny replied, "I'm playing TRUCKER, Mommy"

His mother then says "I don't get it, explain it to me"

Little Johnny says, "it's easy, I'm eating puessy, poppin pills and movin on"

Sorry, had to edit the P word, it program edited it for me

female joke

Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is 24 hours a day/seven days a week?

A: A widow.

Teachers

Three college professors were driving down the highway at a very slow speed. A policeman pulled them over and explained that driving so slowly on the highway could be hazardous. The driver pointed out the sign that read "20." He explained that he was going 20 mph because of the sign. The policeman pointed out that the sign indicated they were driving on Highway 20.

Somewhat embarrassed the professor apologized and promised to be more observant.

As the policeman turn to walk back to his car, he noticed the other two professors on the floor ...looking scared to death! He asked the driver, "What's wrong with them?"

The driver replied, "We just turned off Highway 105."

Base ball in heaven

Earl and Bob, both obsessed with baseball, never missed their favorite team’s game. They promised, whoever died first, and went to heaven, would come back to earth and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven. One day, Earl died. Bob waited for him to come back. Finally Earl did. He said to Bob. "I have good news and bad news. I'll tell you the good news first. There is baseball in heaven." Bob said, "That’s the best news!" Then Earl said, time for the bad news....”You're pitching tomorrow night."

He decided that he would have a facelift for his birthday. It cost him $5,000 and he is ecstatic at the result. He looks fantastic. On the way home he stops at a milk bar and says to the girl behind the counter, "How old do you think I am?".

"Hmmm, .. about 30" was the reply.

"Actually, I'm 45" the man said, feeling really happy.

After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the sales assistant there the same question. Her reply is even better,... "Oh, ... about 25 I guess". He's now feeling very pleased with himself indeed.

While standing at the bus stop, he asked an old lady the same question..

She replied, "I am 90 years old and my eyesight is not what it once was, but when I was young there was a sure way of telling how old a man is. If I put my hand down your pants and feel you up for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age".

As there was nobody around, he thought what the hell and let her slip her wrinkled old hand down his pants and have a good rummage around. Ten minutes later, the old lady said, "Okay, .. it's done. You are 45".

The man was stunned. "How did you do that?", he asked.

The old lady replied, "I was behind you in McDonalds".

Rick.

For the male chauvinist pigs among us.

How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb in the kitchen ??

Who cares?. Let her cook in the dark.

Why did the woman cross the road ??

More to the point, what was she doing out of the kitchen??

Why do women have periods??

Because they deserve them.

What's the difference between a terrorist and a woman with pms ??

You can bargain with a terrorist.

Why do men die before their wives?

They WANT to.

Why do men pass more gas than women??

Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Bigamy is having one wife too many.

Some say monogamy is the same.

What do you say to a feminist who has no ams or legs??

Nice tits.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong""

Made her chain too long.

Why do brides wear whit??

Because that's the colour of all kitchen appliances.

How can you tell if your wife is dead??

The sex is the same but the dishes keep piling up.

Why do cavemen drag their women by the hair??

Because if they dragged them by their feet, they'd fill up with dirt.

Rick.

:devious::devious:

nice jokes 1 bravo 6

heres a lawyer joke

A young guy walks into a post office and sees a middle–aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and sprays scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the best of him, the guy goes up to the man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out a thousand Valentine cards signed, “Guess who?”

“But why?” Asked the young guy.

“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the bald man replied.

ROFL