Pets, ya gotta love them.

4 men at a table talking about their pets. One was an Accountant, one a Chemist, one an Engineer and the fourth is a Government Worker.

To show off, the Engineer calls to his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But, the accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out in the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them up into four equal piles of three cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,"Test tube, do your stuff." Test tube got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a ten-ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Everyone turned to the Government Worker and asked, "What can YOUR cat do?" The government worker called his cat and said, "Coffee break, do your stuff." Coffee break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.