Now all we need are the answers!!

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, " I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out"?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible degree which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge, but not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when asking where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyways?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs aren't they?

What do you call male ballerinas?

Why ARE Trix only for kids?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Why is a person who handles your money called a "broker"?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect from alphabet soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it is outside the atmosphere, but they call it a hemorrhoid when it's on your butt?

And the most important question of all:

If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Why do we Park in a "Driveway", and drive on a "Parkway"?

Why do they call them "Apartments" when thier so close together?

Why does Pizza Hut have signs that "read" we have menus in brail?

Why when something is broken people say it is "out of whack" but when it's repaired they don't say Oh good,"it's back in whack !" Why do they print -Do not eat- on the silica packs thats parts are shipped in.Was there once a moron that said,lets see, datsun sent me a nice new part-and look a snack!!

Have you ever been "plussed" by "clement" weather?

Why are they called "buildings" if they're already built?

...does this mean the opposite of Progress is Congress?