What do you call a drummer with no arms or legs?

Clever ****.

What is the German word for constipation?

Farfrompoopin.

When is it much better to be a woman than a man?

When you are in the lavatory and the plane hits turbulence.

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

A mouse on vacation.

How are sex and air a lot alike?

Neither one's a big deal unless you're not getting any.

How do you make an elephant fly?

Start with a three foot zipper .......

What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back seat of a car?

Getting a pregnant elephant in the back seat of a car.

What is more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in the back seat of a car?

Getting an elephant pregnant in the back seat of a car.

(Will, explain this one to Bill huh??).

DAD, what's a transvestite?

I don't know son, but ask your mother, he'll know.

If a bra is an upper topper flopper stopper, and a jock strap is a lower decker pecker checker, and golden toilet paper is a super duper pooper scooper, then what is a Japanese boxer's father who has diarrhoea??

A slap happy Jappy with a crap happy pappy.

When does a woman enjoy a man's company?

When she owns it.

What are a woman's four favorite animals?

A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom and a jackass who'll pay for it all.

How did Pinoccio find out he was made of wood?

His hand caught fire.

(Here's a couple for the ladies).

What did God say when he created Adam?

I must be able to do better than that.

What did God say when he created Eve?.

Practice makes perfect.

How are men and parking spaces alike?

All the good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.

Did you hear about the canibal who had chronic indigestion?

He ate someone who disagreed with him.

What does D.N.A. stand for?.

National Dyslexics Association. (Think about it).

Why was the washing machine laughing?.

Because it was taking the wizz out of the knickers.

(This is my favorite).

Why do nursing homes give viagra to old men?.

To stop them rolling out of bed.

Rick:devious::devious:

! hahaha . . . nice joke, . . .

heres A Nice Jesture To Brighten Your Day!

http://www.superlaugh.com/1/nicejesture.htm