1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'.... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

HAHAHA Nice logical humor is pretty funny.

Im guilty of #2

Sometimes it's in the first place you look, but you don't look hard enough, and spent 10 minutes looking in other places, and you argue with the misses, saying don't look there, I already looked. Then you start over and look in the first place again and find it.

If you lose something (like your keys) someone will say "where did you lose them?" If I know where I lost my keys, I'd go straight there and get them!

Three things drive the Average 'American' to do EVERYTHING they do:

1- Vanity

2- Greed

3- Fear

In that order of importance.

A Dads answer to this:

Apply a Z and two boys 3 on under...

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

1) I point at the Z clock-I don't wear a watch-one of the boys took it, and I haven't found all of the pieces yet!:stupid:

2 People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

2) With young boys you don't need no stinkin' remote-IF YOU HAVE ONE, IT WILL END UP BEING AN UNINTENDED GAME CONTROLLER!:knockedou

3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

3) If there is food(cake) in the house the boys take care of it as it enters the doorway-Dads can have the cake, but don't get to eat it!

4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

4) The boys take everything and Everything is taken apart-so you find anything lost in several places-if you find all of the parts at all!:hurt:

5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

5) I haven't completed a movie, tv show, or a page of a book-since the first boy came home!

6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'.... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

6) The boys demand a Dads attention-no way your question would even get through!:knockedou

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

7) Diapers are continuously new and improved-the boys are like the borg, they test, adapt, and overcome every attempt at containment!:eek:

8 When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

8) You have obviously never lived through the diaper/potty training stage-it seems endless-though at some point, with the existence of any luck-or justice in the world-I will live through it!:sick:

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

9) Experience any of the above, and you will understand what you have no clue of.:laugh:

As to losing anything-the first place to look-in the mouth of the 15 month old, the second place to look where ever the 3 year old has quietly disappeared too, the third place to look, where ever you would have expected it to be before the kids came along-habits are hard to break-but the incessant competition for attention sometimes clouds the short-term memory!

Will

Good humor! Regarding #1......what time is it??? It's time to get a watch! :stupid: