A few new children's books recently rejected by publishers:

1. You Are Different and That's Bad

2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

3. Dad's New Wife Robert

4. Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share

5. Chainsaw Crafts: An I-Can-Do-It Book

6. The Pre-Schooler's Guide to Hitchhiking

7. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

8. All Cats Go to Hell

9. The Little Sissy Who Snitched

10. How to Get Free Candy from Strangers and Other Cheap Eats

11. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

12. Smackdown! A How-to Guide on Becoming the Neighborhood Bully

13. Pop Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games

14. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School

15. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

16. Backyard Marshmallow Roasts: How to Make Easy Bonfires with Gasoline and Matches

17. 101 Do-it-yourself After-School Projects with Dad’s Power Tools

18. Lil' Playah! Kids Guide to Seducing Your Babysitter

19. Zoom! Zoom! Crash! The Little Boy Who Borrowed Daddy’s Z-car

20. Three Blind Mice, the Early Years: Boy with a Sharp Pin

21. Putting Your Allowance to Work – A Child’s Guide to Online Gambling

22. Hitler’s Book of Moral Virtues

23. Some Kittens Can Really Fly

24. Grandpa Chat: Little Girls Guide to Meeting Friendly Old Men on the Internet

25. Harry Potter’s Guide to Fun Spells and Hexes You Can Put on Your Parents

26. Frogger Dodger – Games Kids Can Play on the Local Freeway

27. Making Things Go Boom! The Anarchist Cookbook: Kids Edition

28. Illustrated Bible Stories - The Happy Men of Sodom and Gomorrah

29. Red Rider BB Gun’s Guide to Quick Draw Showdowns

30. Spicy Kool-Aide: How to Add Extra Kick to Your Punch With Juice From Dad's Liquor Cabinet

31. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way

32. Things You Can Sell From Your Parent's Medicine Cabinet for Extra Cash

33. Flaming Bags of Poop: 101 Neat Games to Play With Your Neighbors

34. Weaving Tiny Baskets From Dog and Cat Whiskers

35. He Touched Me! Seven Ways to Make Mean Neighbors Go Away Forever

36: Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny: Why Your Parents Deceive You

37. Hindenburg! Making Hydrogen Blimps Out of Household Chemicals and Balloons

38. Increasing Your Allowance Using Proven Mafia Extortion Techniques

39: Stick Together! The Giant Book of Fun School Super Glue Pranks

40. It Really Was Your Fault: The Children’s Guide to Surviving Divorce

All of this could only be funny to those of us here in Montana...