Bumper stickers

1} The sex was so good that even the neighbours had a cigarette.

2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me.

4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

7) WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

8) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

9) BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

10) I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.

11) So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

12) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

13) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

14) To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

15) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

16) My kid had sex with your honour student.

17) Earth first...we'll mind the other planets later.

18) I'm just driving this way to wizz you off.

19) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

20) As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

21) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.

22) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and

yelling like the passengers in his car.

23) God must love stupid people, he made so many.

24) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

25) Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26) It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

27) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

28) It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

29) Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

30) I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

31) Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling too good myself.

32) Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

33) Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.

34) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

35) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

36) CAT----- The Other White Meat

37) Beer----- The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon

38) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes

39) I'm Out Of Bed And Dressed-----What More Do You Want?

40) Remember My Name------You'll Be Screaming It Later.

41) Welcome To $^!# Creek-----Sorry, We're Out of Paddles

42) If You Think I'm A Bitch, Wait Until You Meet My Mother.

43) Jesus loves you. Everybody else thinks you're an asshole.

44) Your father should have pulled out early.

Originally posted by kmack

44) Your father should have pulled out early.

MY Father? :cross-eye :disappoin But then I'd have missed out on having my Z's. And I wouldn't be able to hang out with you guys!:dead:

Sorry....no disrespect meant towards you personally, Carl. :cross-eye

If you are close enough to read this, pucker up please.

Originally posted by kmack

44) Your father should have pulled out early.

In that light

45) They saved the wrong end of the umbilical chord

46) If you want better gun control use two hands.

47) Quit honking I'm reloading.

48) My C student can beat the crap out of your honor student.

46A Gun Control is Hitting What You Aim At!

re bumper stickers the best one ive ever seen was

IF YOU CAN READ THIS WHAT THE HELL

HAPPENED TO MY CARAVAN

Your in Mt Isa!!!! You just up for some air? Cause you have dragged up a very old thread here digger. No worries.

So while we are at it....

49) Hire a teenager....they know everything!!!

speaking of teenagers, I saw this on a school marquee last week, " learn something from a teenager today, while they still know everything"

I know its not a bumper sticker, but shools don't have bumpers.

I had, "Cat's flattened while you wait"

I want a Union sticker that reads, "Live Better/Work Union" so I can modify it to read, "Live Better/Work"

My license plate frames read thusly: front - "Do it in a Datsun" rear - "Try it, you'll like it"