weapons inspectors would search Sadam's 240ZG for NOS

[go z racer, go]

Wouldn't it just blow your mind to see Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush pull up in their Z cars to Marilyn Mansion's crib to help drop a fresh Q45 engine into his slammed Fairlady? The following day all three of them would be wearing "I'm with stupid" tee-shirts, licking ice-cream cones while rollerbladding down the boardwalk. Huh, huh?

You turn the TV on in time to see Rush Limbaugh and Phil Donahue adorned in matching tank-tops, with silk screened unicorns and rainbows, tearing-it-up on Soul Train!

Then, Saddam beats George W. drag racing in the UN parking lot three times in a row. Working on a hot tip from d*** Cheney, the weapons inspectors begin searching Saddam's 240ZG for NOS (previously undeclared). The French are seen letting the air out of George W.'s 350Zs tires. After watching a Teletubby episode, a newly inspired Sadism tosses a free case of motor oil to a busy George W. carefully braiding cornrows on Snoop Doggy Dog's head. Jerry Lewis appears exciting the French who then abort their "LeBush 350Z sabotage" mission in favor of stocking Mr. Lewis.

Jerry Springier and Oprah Winfrey get hitched live on Fear Factor. But, no honeymoon for these two, they're too busy hosting an "all Z, all day" Fox cable talk show highlighting parents of Siamese twins and their consant struggle to properly tune SU round top carburetors.

Every night, Mike Tyson would fall asleep to dream of..."puppies clumsily chasing butterflies across the clouds, only to wind up as road kill under his metalic-green 280ZXT"

[Caen Fred]

Yes, yes yes yes.

Well, if your plan eventually fail, do you think we could ask those UN guys to look for any rust free Z that might be in the Irakian desert?

Well, you never know, I could ask?

[Bambikiller240]

Originally posted by go z racer, go

Wouldn't it just blow your mind to see Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush pull up in their Z cars to Marilyn Mansion's crib to help drop a fresh Q45 engine into his slammed Fairlady? The following day all three of them would be wearing "I'm with stupid" tee-shirts, licking ice-cream cones while rollerbladding down the boardwalk. Huh, huh?

You turn the TV on in time to see Rush Limbaugh and Phil Donahue adorned in matching tank-tops, with silk screened unicorns and rainbows, tearing-it-up on Soul Train!

Then, Saddam beats George W. drag racing in the UN parking lot three times in a row. Working on a hot tip from d*** Cheney, the weapons inspectors begin searching Saddam's 240ZG for NOS (previously undeclared). The French are seen letting the air out of George W.'s 350Zs tires. After watching a Teletubby episode, a newly inspired Sadism tosses a free case of motor oil to a busy George W. carefully braiding cornrows on Snoop Doggy Dog's head. Jerry Lewis appears exciting the French who then abort their "LeBush 350Z sabotage" mission in favor of stocking Mr. Lewis.

Jerry Springier and Orphan Whinfrey get hitched live on Fear Factor. But, no honeymoon for these two, they're too busy hosting an "all Z, all day" Fox cable talk show highlighting Gay-anorexic-Hungarian-astronauts and their struggle to properly tune their US carburetors.

Every night, Mike Tyson would fall asleep to dream of..."puppies clumsily chasing butterflies across the clouds, only to wind up as road kill under his metalic-green 280ZXT"

You really should share whatever it is that you've been smoking with the rest of us! LOL

[go z racer, go]

"You don't shake a memory like that overnight."

I wrote this little story while waiting at home with a friend for a third party to go surfing. He has a brand new F-250 pickup with the suicide doors, a killer CD player, and best of all, his Father's gas card;the perfect surf mobile. I'll take a gas card over a Hum Vee any day. He was running late, so there we sat, in darkness watching a Body By Jake infomercial while sipping on coffee so strong my stir-stick remained centered in the cup. Another ten minutes goes by without his headlights. I hit the remote in hopes of catching yesterdays Lakers vs. Clipper score.

Then it starts, He looks out the window, down the street, nothing but a zig zagging paperboy. I ask him to mellow out. He justifies his anger with "we should leave now, right now"..."forget him"... "the sun will soon rise!"

With a horrified look I respond to his last statement with sarcasm "the sun will rise...are you sure?"..."should I alert the news stations or grab the cam camcorder first?"....I know, I know, I got it.....if your prediction comes true we can use it to petition your wrongful flunking back in the third grade"! ..."sound good to you, David Copperfield?"

He pours himself the last cup from our second pot of coffee. As a CNN reporter describes the mounting tension from the middle east...I can see my friend shaking his head in disapproval. He's got that look again. Years of friendship tells me to run, but my need to go surfing tells me to ride it out. "Why," I ask myself. "Why now, why me, why on a weekend with good surf?" "Why...... and where the hell is my friend and his perfect truck?"

He turns his agitated attention is on the TV, World News to be exact. Oh boy, here we go. He sums up every topic with "it sucks," or "they suck." I hate the thought of being in jail, but can't decide whether or not I hate my friends attitude more. I stand up, to turn and face my kitchen. The kitchen with a frying pan that when used properly by an adult, could deliver a blow to his chattering pin head to correct this situation.

Instead I proceed to illustrate to this mental midget for whom I call friend, the idea behind the phrase "be careful what you wish for, it may come true." This was achieved by transplanting the political landscape into Mr. Rogers neighborhood. Why you ask? You have to understand your intended audience. I once observed him arguing over what to do with your old Christmas tree with a stray dog. You don't shake a memory like that overnight. Right in the middle of this insane scenario I stopped. Call it hunch, but when his face started turning red with anger and his fists were clinched so tightly his knuckles were white, I suddenly had the distinct feeling he was going to beat me to that frying pan.

"I wish I was David Copperfeild, I would saw you in half right now" he growled.

"If I have to stay here and listen to you complain for another minute I'll gladly hand you a saw." I replied

Nothing is said for a few seconds, then without hint, or warning we both break out in laughter. Have you ever found yourself laughing at a thought just because it was so stupid? Not funny, just plain and simple stupidity. Well, my brand of humor is dependent on it.

We continued laughing. We were both out of control and we knew it. Helpless, we began to laugh even harder, and louder with no end in sight. My girl friend is now awake and screaming from the bedroom at us to shut up. She leaps out of bed and marches into the living room with every intention to bitch me out, but no lie, she stands there with her arms folded and eyes glaring at me, when all of the sudden she started laughing too. Now this may sound strange, but I as I watched her laughing away I could sense her anger still growing at an alarming rate. Now, we're all laughing together and harder than before because....

a). me and my friend are idiots anyway

. my girlfriend's face starts to resembles a strobe light as she struggles in vain to gain control over this laughter and start bitching....kinda like that movie Sible, or Mommy Dearest.

c). and best of all, we know, that she knows, we know (still with me?) she has no idea why she's laughing.

When my other friend finally shows up, we try and explain what happened, but neither one of us can do it without laughing again. So now he's pissed at us and thinks we're purposely keeping a secret from him and he feels left out. The three of us will never convince him that there was no funny story, no joke, no incident.

You talk about losing a friendship over nothing...sheeesh!

[1GENZED]

iD like to reiterate the question stated earlier, in a more specific manner.

Where these shrooms from Hawai or homegrown .

Awsome illistrative style. Do you write for a living.

[Bambikiller240]

I think he gets his inspiration from reading Porn and Travel Brochures while smoking some killer Paka'lo'lo (Hawaiian green buds).

But he won't share with the rest of us

[Alfadog]

I feel like laughing !

[go z racer, go]

Actually, and contrary to what some have speculated, I'm a just a Z lover like the rest of you who has to work as a Firefighter to keep the lights on. However, to be fair it has been said, by more than a few, that I have a very "fertile" imagination.

I have contributed a few editorials, technical and otherwise, to F1 (my other passion) and Surfing publications. Even Fox News Network (though only once for them). Frankly, nothing really note worthy.

BTW---Your initial diagnosis concerning my literary influence was very close. I did have some fun in my four years at SDSU. I believe the correct terminology is commonly refereed to as "experimenting." For those of us in deep denial anyway ().

[Bambikiller240]

Originally posted by go z racer, go

Actually, and contrary to what some have speculated, I'm a just a Z lover like the rest of you who has to work as a Firefighter to keep the lights on. However, to be fair it has been said, by more than a few, that I have a very "fertile" imagination.

(major snip by Carl)

Well, since you brought it up, I'll ask this question. You do you know what makes the best "fertilizer"; don't you?

I KNEW you did!

[go z racer, go]

Easy there Tiger. I was actually poking fun at myself. Not you, or anyone else for that matter. No, not at all. Just me. I can laugh at myself.

However, if I did offend you in anyway, I whole hardily apologize to you sir. As that was not my intention. That would be the last thing I would do to a fellow Z enthusiast. I will do my best in the future to avoid a repeat.

Again, I was just trying to spread a little laughter; even at my own expense. Apparently I fell short...sorry guys!:sleepy:

[Bambikiller240]

Originally posted by go z racer, go

Easy there Tiger. I was actually poking fun at myself. Not you, or anyone else for that matter. No, not at all. Just me. I can laugh at myself.

However, if I did offend you in anyway, I whole hardily apologize to you sir. As that was not my intention. That would be the last thing I would do to a fellow Z enthusiast. I will do my best in the future to avoid a repeat.

Again, I was just trying to spread a little laughter; even at my own expense. Apparently I fell short...sorry guys!:sleepy:

I'm not offended in anyway, I was just poking more fun at you as well. Also, not trying to offend you either. In my circle of friends, a person wiith your flowery literary style would be classified as a "Bullshit artist". Depending on the circumstances, that could be high praise, or ..............well you get the idea.

I was just pulling your leg. You can have it back now

[go z racer, go]

Hey Carl---Truth be told, I find you as one sharp guy. No kidding. Your words convey a certain "raw-edge" and "truth" not easy to obtain by most people. For that matter, by most writers. It's kinda like "you either have it, or you don't." For better or worst, you have that ability, that intensity.

Are you familiar with the book "catcher in the rye" written by JD Salinger? A long time favorite amongst young writers. It's still one of my all time favorites. While the subject matter may be classified as "just okay." The writing, the style, the words are unforgettable. In it's release, years and years ago, it turned the, then establishment, on it's ear.

JD Salinger and you seem to be cut from the same fabric. Perhaps it is you, Carl, who should be writing.

BTW---Thank you for having returned my leg, I need it for surfing. Without it I would have been forced to join the ranks of the boogieboarders. My friends would have stoned me!