Posted February 4, 200322 yr comment_25534 DANGEROUS VENOMOUS SNAKE NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) LOCATION: Throughout the world DESCRIPTION: Varying from pink to black. Fangless, with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood and subspecies. SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks, mainly women, in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then, a severe swelling, followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. However, it has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, which may result in an incurable disease and possible death. HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places. ANTIDOTE:Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body, only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men. WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED TORNIQUET: Do not apply a torniquet, as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected. CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow. SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success. MILKING THE SNAKE 1. Place 4 fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front. 2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion. 3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive and start spitting. 4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked. 5. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes. CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin and, treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet. Link to comment https://www.classiczcars.com/forums/topic/4549-eeeek-snake/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
February 4, 200322 yr Author comment_25535 THE BUNNY AND THE SNAKE Once upon a time, allegedly, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By surprising coincidence both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. 'Oh, my,' said the bunny, 'I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am.' 'It's quite OK,' replied the snake. 'Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you.' 'Oh, that would be wonderful,' replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, 'Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit.' 'Oh, thank you! Thank you,' cried the bunny in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, 'Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way you've helped me.' So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, 'Well, you're scaly and smooth, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be either an accountant, or possibly someone in senior management.' Link to comment https://www.classiczcars.com/forums/topic/4549-eeeek-snake/#findComment-25535 Share on other sites More sharing options...
February 4, 200322 yr comment_25541 You have WAY to much time on your hands. Link to comment https://www.classiczcars.com/forums/topic/4549-eeeek-snake/#findComment-25541 Share on other sites More sharing options...
February 4, 200322 yr comment_25543 Originally posted by bonniec75209 THE BUNNY AND THE SNAKE (Major Snip by Carl) So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, 'Well, you're scaly and smooth, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be either an accountant, or possibly someone in senior management.' Or a Lawyer! Link to comment https://www.classiczcars.com/forums/topic/4549-eeeek-snake/#findComment-25543 Share on other sites More sharing options...
February 4, 200322 yr comment_25544 Or a politician... Link to comment https://www.classiczcars.com/forums/topic/4549-eeeek-snake/#findComment-25544 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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