1. How Do You Catch A Unique Rabbit?

Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch A Tame Rabbit?

Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?

They Take The Psycho Path.

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?

You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit A Concrete Wall?

Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?

Polaroids

7. What Do You Call A Boomerang That Doesn't work?

A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?

Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?

Quatro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get >From A Pampered Cow?

Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross A Snowman With A Vampire?

Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?

A Nervous Wreck.

15. Where Do You Find A Dog With No Legs?

Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?

Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?

Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between A Harley And A Hoover?

The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?

Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between A Bad Golfer And A Bad Skydiver?

Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

It may be alittle old but still funny.

17. Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an jerk.

16. Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings."

15. The proctologist called...they found your head.

14. Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.

13. Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

12. Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

11. I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

10. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

9. Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

8. Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody, But Me."

7. Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.

6. Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

5. If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

4. Some pe ople are only alive because it is Illegal to shoot them.

3. Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

2. Hang up and drive!

AND THE NUMBER ONE BUMPER STICKER FOR 2003!

1. Welcome to America ... Now speak English!

Your avatar freaked me out!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonnie,

I copied that peeping eyeball and placed it on my screen as wallpaper and now my wife can't use the computer! Especially when I tiled it!!

But, I think it's funny. And I get more computer time!

BTW, someone here has an avatar instructing kids (or anyone for that matter) on the proper way to slit your wrists. THAT'S scary

What do you buy for present to a mechanic that has an addiction to masturbate?

A handbrake=)

Not so good hah? O.K I just made it up... Thinking thinking....

The best head for datsun z owner?

a.p-90

b.p-79

c.n-42

d.wi-fe

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan ......

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time.

Hi Rob,

Yeah I saw that avatar, it is really disturbing.

Originally posted by bonniec75209

Hi Rob,

Yeah I saw that avatar, it is really disturbing.

It isn't my favorite avatar of our club either, and I wonder about Bryan Tatem's sense of humor; however it isn't like people come to our site for advice on suicide methods so IMO it merely falls into the catagory of tasteless.

Of course, my car is named Bambikiller, so who am I to point fingers.

19. What Is The Difference Between A Harley And A Hoover?

The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

You can only fit one dirt bag on a hoover!!

- Jeff

I have said it once and I will say it again. If you are so stupid that you need instructions on how to kill yourself, you are an idiot and the world probably will be better off without you. If someone's avatar makes you want to kill yourself or makes you even think about it, join the miliutary and go on the front lines. Take a few enemy out before you go. Help me out. Find something else to worry about like war or chemical weapons. I am Activated Army National Guard. By joining here and signing on the dotted line, in a way I have half slit my wrist. George Jr. wants his dad's war and is trying everything in his power to get it.

Well, enough on that...

By the way, my new one reads:

"Arguing on the Internet is like the Special Olympics, Even if you win you are still a retard."

I am not making fun of retards or wishing that anyone is retarted, but making an arguement about something here might make you sound really stupid????

Think about it...,

Originally posted by bryantatem

I am Activated Army National Guard. By joining here and signing on the dotted line, in a way I have half slit my wrist.

Did you do it "down the road or across the street"?

PS: you won't get much sympathy from some of us who are Viet Nam or Desert Storm era veterans. Surely you understood when you signed up that you could get called up to the big leagues.

Didn't you?

I am not looking for sympathy from anyone. I was active duty for years, and now I am serving my state. Well, if anyone here is even thinking about joining the National Guard cause they SUCK!! Active duty was good, these Nasty Guard people SUCK arse!!!

DAMN WHY CAN'T ANYONE JUST LOOK, READ AND LAUGH. Everyone has to be so politically correct that it isn't even fun to tell a joke anymore.

I just think there is better things to worry about than a stupid picture. If you are so insecure that a picture will make you do something, then I am going to draw a picture of someone jumping off a bridge to see who will follow.

As far as all vets and people that have signed the line, I am so happy for all of you and those who haven't and want a free country, SUPPORT OUR TROOPS. Going to war isn't our decision, it is the decision of the person WE THE PEOPLE voted to be president.

OK I am now off my soapbox...

My final point:

It is just a stupid picture, look & laugh.

Originally posted by bryantatem

It is just a stupid picture, look & laugh.

Most of us did & do just that. Don't take the concerns of the "few" so seriously. You had the b*lls to post the avatar, surely you've the b*lls to take the criticism of a small minority.

We don't all have to like the same things, do we? The USA was built on disent. Ain"t nothing changed in that regard for over 220 years

PS I am NOT in favor of Bush's war either, but I absolutely support the troops who will have to do the fighting.