OK, great news. I've found my one true love of all time. 

Back when I was young (you know, the stone ages), the very first car any one let me drive was a sweet little white 68 Envoy Epic. A friend and I were out for lunch on school day, and I said, "can I drive?" and he said "sure". I got one block before I decided the joy in my heart was so overwhelming that I had to pull over and let him have his car back. He seemed very anxious for me to stop driving for some reason. True story.

I fell in love with it immediately. I was heart broken when I heard just days later that it was stolen from the dealer lot where it was in for service (very unusual!). His entire family was in mourning. They were doing their best to appear strong, and spent much of the day laughing and smiling as best as they could. How brave they were. They even exclaimed "thank god it's gone!" In a feeble attempt to feign remorse.

Then miraculously, it was returned to the dealer! Apparently the thief couldn't live with himself when he realized how heartbroken the owner was with the loss of such a wonderous vehicle.

Anyway on a chance kijiji browing session, I came across this gem.

https://oldcarjunkie.wordpress.com/2013/05/15/another-epic-for-sale/

What an opportunity to return my REAL car roots and to own a true classic. 

All of my other cars are for sale at $5 each. First come first served. Get this junk out of here! Gotta make room for the true classic.

Hey Jim....You need professional help....that car is “fat, but it’s ugly!” 

Maybe it's the fresh snow on the ground and the -13C temps on the first of April that has affected my brain function....

All of my other cars are for sale at $5 each*. First come first served. Get this junk out of here! Gotta make room for the true classic.

.... *plus cover charge to the yard...

$5 a car, I'll take $20 worth.

April fools!

Busted.

Sad part is the core story is 99% true... My first car love was a piece of crap... But I wasn't fooled for long.

When a man of few words, such as you, writes out something like that my bullshit radar pegs out. 8^)

Can't fool you guys! For long....

Can't fool a fool.