Application for a night out with the boys

Posted May 28, 200321 yr

Name of Boyfriend/Fiance'/Husband :____________________

I request permission for a leave of absence from the HIGHEST AUTHORITY in my life for the following peroid

Date:_______ Time of departure:________ time of return,not to exceed:__________.

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below,at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with any women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permited in writing below. I will not turn off my moble phone after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal weiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiance'/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me for the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Amount of alcohol allowed(units) Beers_____Wine____ Liquor___ Total allowance_____.!

Locations to be visited:

Location:___________FROM:__________TO:___________

Female with whom conversation is permitted:____________.!

IMPORTANT - STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact stated above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of our relationship, no ifs and or buts.

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the pants in our relationship,and I agree it's not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this night out will cost me a fortune in flowers & chocolates. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you to the concert of your choice should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my arrival home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face,and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

I declare that to the best of my knowledge( of which I have none compared to my BETTER half) the above info. is correct.

Boyfriend/Faince'/Husband :_________________________.

____________________________________________________

Request is: APPROVED ______. DENIED______.

This decision is not negotiable. If approved cut permition slip below and carry at all times.

........................................................................................................

Permission for my Boyfriend/Fiance,/Husband to be away for the following time: Date______ Time of departure________ Time of return________

Girlfriend/Fiance'/wife:____________________________.

____________________________________________________

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS

Nane of Girlfriend/Fiance'/Wife:__________________________

I'M GOING OUT TONIGHT!