Originally posted by tanny

Don't be laughin' now, this is serious excrement.

Oh, Poo!!!!!!!!! (!)

"Profanity is a shallow mind trying desperately to express itself."

steve(really %@#&ing shallow)77

Originally posted by That Ozzy Guy

Alfadog, you're right that swearing can often ruin a good joke but this is not one of those situations. The swearing adds to the feel of it, expressing this comedians anger and frustration and I bet he would raise his voice slightly with every swear word. But anyway...:cheeky:

IN YOUR OPINION, anyway.

Swearing really shits me...

I'm not too sure that swearing indicates a lack of vocabulary and/or intelligence. The best, most vehement swear words seem to be derived from either pooping or humping, and where do you do most of your really deep thinking? Of course! While you're sittin' on the pot or flailing wildly in bed, or somewhere. All that intellectual stimulation and vocabulary building you get from the piles of magazines and newspapers in front of the pot. And who doesn't gain deep intellectual insights and a great appreciation for your partners' intelligence while humping madly? These are obviously profound intellectual pursuits, and out of them spring the the most apropriate and effective swear words. Thus, intuitively, swear words are an indication of extreme intelligence and sensitivity. Excellent logic. Victor.

I guess I have been desensitized from swearing growing up in the backwaters surrounded by yokels maybe? I think that the harshness of most swear words has gone, and they are taken in a much lighter sense now, however there are still some words maybe one or two, which I will not use, or reserve for when a car falls on me (its happened too often, maybe thats why I swear?)

Oh well here is a clean joke; (not mine but funny and clean)

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything.

It would be like, "Excuse me... oops, never mind. Didn't see your sign." It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a Ridgeways truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a year to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a mate of mine, we pulled his boat into the ramp, I lifted up this big whiting and this idiot on the ramp goes, "Hey, you catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it".

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my car into a gas station. The attendant walks out, looks at my car, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Damn, that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning... ok.. no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "no I'm delivering' a bridge... here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today? Send this to all your friends. The next time someone says something stupid ask them were their sign is.

Almost clean

Cheers Chris

Well Z Kid

When you think about it there is a lot of logic there in these examples. Where do we get these signs from -- not from the yokels I hope:classic:

Sorry, I couldn't shut up yet. *&^@$#!)*^++&&%$@^&**$%$%(*_)(^&^$@$#~(*&)(*&%$!#~$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take that everybody!! Victor.

Don't be laughin' now, this is serious excrement.

You REALLY cracked me up with that one mate.

Are you an ex pat Aussie Tanny????

You've got the right sense of humour to be one.

Believe me, very few can swear like an Aussie soldier and I was one for twenty years so you can be sure that I have a reasonably large vocabulary. There have been occasions when I have completely run through my entire repetoir, still felt like swearing so made a few up.

Sure, it's heard on T.V, movies, the internet and commedian's verbal disentery

But does that make it right ???

FART is not REALLY a swear word and BLOODY, (which I use quite a lot), is right at the bottom of the scale.

I admit that my standards are rather old fashioned but then, as I've said before, I am an old FART.

On crowded public transport I'll offer my seat to a lady.

I'll open a door for a lady.

I hold my wife's chair when she sits at a table etc. etc.

It's called respect for women.

Warnings or not, swearing in a public place is inappropriate.

Rick being serious ???? Yes Lachlan, miracles do happen mate.

'nuff sed. I'm off the soapbox.

Rick.

Hey there, Z Kid,

How long have you been into country music ????

I've been into it for most of my life.

Rick.