Ladies vs Real Woman

> Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still

cooking,drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

> Real Woman - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

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Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Woman - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You

might still have the headache, but who cares?

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Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Woman - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

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Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Woman - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

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Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.

Real Woman - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.

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Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Woman - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.

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Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Woman - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.

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And finally the most important tip....

Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Woman - Leftover wine??

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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend

will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"

These were my favorites:

Real Woman - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

Real Woman - If you have a problem opening jars, go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.

Real Woman - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Leftover wine??

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend

will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn ... that was fun!"

40 Things Women Just CAN'T Do

1. Know anything about a car except its colour

2. Go 24 hours without sending an SMS

3. Throw

4. Run

5. Park

6. Fart properly

7. Read a map

8. Resist Ikea or Freedom

9. Sit still

10. Eat a kebab/souvlaki whilst walking

11. wizz out of a train window

12. Argue without shouting

13. Get told off without crying

14. Use the suicide lane

15. Walk past a shoe shop

16. Resist sending on those poxy heart-warming e-mails

17. Resist commenting on strangers' clothes

18. Use a small amount of toilet paper

19. Drink a pint gracefully

20. Shout a round

21. Throw a punch

22. Be a magician

23. Enjoy porn

24. Eat a decent hot curry

25. Get to the point

26. Buy plain envelopes

27. Take less than 40 minutes in the shower

28. Sit in a room for five minutes without saying, "I'm cold"

29. Go shopping and know what they want

30. Assemble furniture

31. Rent a decent DVD/video

32. Set a video recorder

33. Watch a war film

34. Understand why their flirting pisses us off

35. Spend a day by themselves

36. Go to a nightclub toilet by themselves

37. Buy a purse that fits in their pocket

38. Quickly choose a rental DVD/video

39. Enjoy a good burp

40. Get this far without having argued with at least one of the

above

Here's one that was put in our newzletter last month.

Guys, ENJOY!

Mens rules to women . (very simple & easy to follow)

#1 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up,

you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

#1 Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

#1 Crying is blackmail.

#1 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

#1 "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

#1 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

ROFL ROFL

That was pretty funny, George!!! You're right -- most women can't do all of those things. The ones I can't do are numbers: 16, 19 (I'm a beer person), 21, 33 and 37.

BTW, what's an "SMS"?

An SMS is a mobile text message.

I thought you would have bit my head off for number 1:cheeky:

Originally posted by That Ozzy Guy

I thought you would have bit my head off for number 1:cheeky:

Oh, no, not at all. I totally agree that most women are like that (but not all of us -- ).

i dont know about #23...i know a few girls that could give most guys a run for their money when it comes to porn collections. (no pun intended.)