Good thing wrinkles can't talk

> >An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.

> "Yes Dad, what is it? "Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me ... your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."

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> > Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

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>> The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

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> > Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

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> > How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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> > When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

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> > You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

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> > I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

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> > One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

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> > Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

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> > Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.

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>> If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

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> > First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

A lot of truth there.

"You know what it is to be young, but you don't know what it is to be old."

:devious: :devious: :devious: :devious:

G'Day there 2Many,

Absolutely NONE of them apply to me. I.m not THAT old yet.

After all, I'm only 25 going on 60.

Rick.

Originally posted by 2ManyZs

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>> If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

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I like that one :classic:

Originally posted by 1 Bravo 6

:devious: :devious: :devious: :devious:

After all, I'm only 25 going on 60.

But, Rick; aren't those 25 years calculated in "dog" years?

MY Grand Dad taught me that you should always put women on a pedastle...... He said it was easier to look under their dress if you did that!

This is hurts even more of us.. even those of us who are in our 40's...:disappoin

Feeling Old Yet?

Each year, the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of the year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list.

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1984.

1. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and probably did not know he had ever been shot.

2. They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.

3. Black Monday, 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.

4. The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.

5. There has been only one Pope.

6. They were 12 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold War.

7. They have never feared a nuclear war.

8. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

9. Tienamen Square means nothing to them.

10. Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

11. The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.

12. They have never owned a record player.

13. They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong.

14. They may have never heard of an 8-track.

15. The compact disc was introduced when they were one-year-old.

16. As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 37 cents.

17. They have always had an answering machine.

18. Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black and white TV.

19. They have always had cable.

20. There have always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA was.

21. They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

22. They don't know what a cloth baby diaper is.

23. They have no idea that there was a commercial featuring the line, "I've fallen and I can't get up."

24. They were born the year that Walkman were introduced by Sony.

25. Roller-skating has always meant inline for them.

26. Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

27. They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.

28. Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

29. They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

30. They have never seen Larry Bird play.

31. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

32. The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII and the Civil War.

33. They have no idea Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.

34. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

35. They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

36. They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. was.

37. To them, Michael Jackson has always been white.

38. McDonalds food never came in Styrofoam containers.

39. There has always been MTV.

40. They learned what Sex is and isn't, from Bill Clinton.

I was born in 1984.

So that's my mindset? ok thanks

2ManyZs - I laughed out loud when I read "4. The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them." the second time only 7 lines apart -- hint,hint ??

- Jeff

MY Grand Dad taught me that you should always put women on a pedastle...... He said it was easier to look under their dress if you did that!

My Grandpa always said, "Marry a girl with small hands. It makes your 'you-know-what' look bigger!"

Two bulls, one young and one elder, were standing on top of a hill looking at a herd of cows on top of the next hill.

The young bull says before breaking into a gallop, "Come on old man, let's run over there and we can scr*w us one of those cows!".

The old bull just shakes his head and starts walking towards the herd and calls out after him, "You go ahead, I'll just walk there and scr*w them ALL!".

"Youth is wasted on the young!"

--Anonimous

:stupid: :stupid:

OOOHHHH, I think one people year is the equivalent to a dog's seven years.

HMMMM, let's see.

ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FIVE ??????

Bloody heck Carl, I ain't THAT old mate.

Rick.

Originally posted by 1 Bravo 6

:stupid: :stupid:

OOOHHHH, I think one people year is the equivalent to a dog's seven years.

HMMMM, let's see.

ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FIVE ??????

Bloody heck Carl, I ain't THAT old mate.

Rick.

Oh, OK. I was just checking your pulse, Rick. Guess it IS still there.