A bloke turns up at a farm in New Zealand and tells the farmer he's doing research for his Masters Degree in Animal Husbandry and asks the farmer's permission to interview some of the farm animals.

The farmer says, "but animals can't talk !!!".

"Of course they can" says the researcher as he walks over to cow.

"G'day cow, what's your name" he says.

"Bessie" the cow replied.

"Well, Bessie, how's life on the farm ??".

"Pretty good", she says. "The farmer feeds me very well, milks me twice a day so I don't feel uncomfortable and has nevery spoken a harsh word to me".

"CRIPES!!!" said the farmer, "I didn't know she could talk".

"All animals can" the bloke replied. "Let's see what this old horse has to say".

"G'day, horse, what's your name ??".

"He called me Diamond because of the shape of the white patch on my forehead" was the horse's answer.

"Well, Diamond, how do you like it here" the bloke asked.

"Oh, he's always looked after me. Especially now that I'm getting on in years. He's given me a nice, warm, cosy stall so I don't feel cold at night, keeps the haybale full and gives me a rub down now and then".

The poor farmer is practically speachless with surprise that his animals can talk.

Then, finding his voice, calls to the researcher as he walks towards a rather cute ewe, "You can't believe what SHE says, she tells LIES.

Rick.

ROFL

Q: how do Kiwi's find there sheep in long grass??

a: very pleasing

james.

Anyone from Nelson here?

What's a ewe?

Originally posted by Ivan

Anyone from Nelson here?

What's a ewe?

Opposite of RAM!

Q: Why do Rednecks wear button-fly jeans?

A: Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away!

1.What do you call an Island full of Lesbo's ??

LIQUORLAND !!

And a few Irish for good measure.

2. Here about the Irish lad that tried to blow up a car ?

BURNT HIS LIPS ON THE EXHAUST !

3. How do you confuse an Irishman ?

PUT HIM IN A ROUND ROOM AND TELL HIM TO SIT IN THE

CORNER

4. How does an Irishman make love??????

The normal don't know response of course

AND YOU CALL THE IRISH DAFT !!

One for the blonds out there!!

1.What do you call a blond with a brain ??

A GOLDEN LABRADOR LOL

1 Bravo 6

GET OFF MY MOUNTAIN AND LEAVE MY SHEEP ALONEROFL ROFL

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IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT YOURSELF THEN YOUR NOT VERY FUNNY !

One for the road !!

Whats brown and sticky???

A STICK

Hey there Sammy,

Gettin' a bit jealous huh ????

Rick.

1 Bravo 6

Na mate I like a good joke just egging you on for

more of the same:cheeky:

Paddy Irish man, Paddy Scotch man and Paddy Englishman

sitting in a Pub, boasting about their sex Lives.

Paddy Englishman says when I go home tonight he says.

I,m going to do what I always do on Friday nights.

I,m going to gently kiss my wife all over for a good hour

slowly ease myself into her giving her all the pleasure she

deserves for another hour. Then after many many multible

orgasims I watch my wife raise two foot in the air.

Paddy Scotch man says ooch man thats nothin when I go

home tonight the wife knows on goes the Englebert tape.

As soon as I enter the door we kiss and cuddle for 2 good

hours we do mad things in the sack for two hours and more.

Then after hundreds of Orgazsims the wife raises three foot in

the air.

Paddy Irishman says nah thats nothin when I go home tonight

the wifes there a waiting. Were up the stairs in a flash ripping

each others clothes off getting straight into it, within a half an

hour were done. And after I wipe my fella on the curtains

the we women hits the Roof !!