All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses side-saddle.

A beggar asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice kitty" until you can find a rock.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Real cute 2 many..but I still get quite a chuckle from them.....

I think about the first one almost everyday...:disappoin

hahaha, good stuff

Good humor 2Many!!! Always loves to laugh a little. Thanks for the morning smiles.

P.S. I always love the adds that say....FREE with the purchase of.....well, what ever it is they're trying to sell.

Those are great 2mz'!! I like the free gift one also.One real life thing thats sorta along those same lines is the airline prices.Ever notice they advertise something like---N.Y. to Miami--$100.00 the small print reads price listed is one way based on round trip.WHAT!!! I don't know how that could be legal. Oh,For sale-240z $1.00 priced based on buying car jack for $8,000.00.Maybe closer would be front half of 240 $1.00 based on buying rear half for $8,000.00