R-RATED RIDDLES

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your ex-wife & her new boyfriend backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.

Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?

A. About three inches.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?

A. The strength of grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.

Q: If the Dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

A. The Swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, nine inches is rare.

Q. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?

A. Because some men may be stupid, but very few are blind.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A. They don't have balls to scratch.

Hehehe, some of these are pretty good.