Christmas cheer isnt here

[ZmeFly]

This is the first year, that I wont be able to see my father that past this April. This I know is supposed to be a happy day but I cant help but be depressed.

Just knowing that I wont ever see him again just sinks in a little more now. I always think of my father and I hate saying "how he was" instead of how he IS.

I was talking to my mother last night, she tried to keep the dissappointment behind her and not let the feelings show, but I could tell shes not happy either. Thats another thing thats got me down as well.

Christmas has tapped me out so I cant even make an impromptu visit just to say hi and keep her company today. Just knowing shes sitting in that house all by herself. I kind of feel the same way today, just alone.

I dont know, I was dealing with it well I suppose, but its times like this that make you think about it all over again. I really miss my dad, I miss him a lot. I really also hate knowing that my mom is speding her Christmas day alone too.

Eh well I dont want to put everyone down. Just had to vent a little I guess, Merry Christmas all.

Today just remember all the poeple that you do love and even the ones you dont. This may be the last time you see them make it a good visit.

[DatsunZGuy]

Sorry to hear that you are having a rough time during the holidays. I hope you have good memories of your father you can fall back upon to get you past this bump in the road in your life.

May the new year bring about happier times and peace in knowing your dad will always know that you love him.

[Smokey]

I am sorry too, that you are having a hard time with the Holidays. All too often we take for granted that the Holidays are a happy time for everyone. That is not the case for all. What you have described is typical for lots of families that have lost loved ones. On my side of the family, Christmas has gotten to be a just another day, because we have lost so many over the recent years. Fortunately, I still have both of my parents, but this year we found out that my mother has Multiple Sclerosis, and it is progressing very fast. That took a lot of cheer out of the Holidays for me this year.

Not trying to add to the depressing thoughts, just sharing for the sake of saying you are not alone, and I am sure that the members here will be thinking about you. You are in my thoughts.

Try to make the best of it, as I am sure that is what your Dad would have wanted. Parents hate to see their kids (regardless of age) upset. So cheer up, go drive the ZX and remember the good times.

[m240]

James, sorry to here about your loss. The holidays are always tough when some one you love isn't there anymore to share them with you. My father will be gone 20 years this this year and yes time makes it a little easier, but you still wish the hell they were still alive. Just try to get through the holiday as best you can and I hope next year is a better one for you.

Mark

[2ManyZs]

The first Christmas and Thanksgiving is always the hardest, and it has taken me since 95 to get used to the empty spot at the table. :disappoin

I even caught myself shopping for Dad the first couple of Christmas' after he died.

I haven't had any Christmas "spirit" since Mom had her stroke either... even though she's still here in body, she's not herself and it just isn't the same. We haven't exchanged gifts for the last 2 years...

No matter what you do, it will never be the same as it used to be.....

But, you still have the memories of Christmas's past.

[ZmeFly]

And thanks to the rest of you for the good thoughts.

Keith you are right, it just doesnt seem the same anymore. It just doesnt seem right no matter how hard you try to make it right at least in your mind anyway.

I just spent the past two nights talking to my mom and I can tell shes not as happy as she usually is during the Christmas holiday.

I fell bad thats shes just home alone without anyone anymore.

Thanks guys.

[Phred]

ZmeFly,

Hang in there buddy. The one thing we all have in common is we're all on the same road. Some are just going to get there a little sooner than others. I lost my Mom five years ago. But I was able to spend the day with my Dad, who's 86 & has had three heart attacks. So I know whats coming. Hard not to be sad. But I chose to be happy, Good memories are something that won't die.

Phred