Stupid Questions Aussies Rec'd about the Olympics

Visiting Australia

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The 2000 Olympics committee set up a website to deal with queries from would be spectators. These are genuine queries - plus the answers that were posted on the site for all to see..

Q. Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)

A. Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this question, who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops any lower...

Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

A. Depends on how much beer you've consumed...

Q. Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)

A. Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.

Q. I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A. Sure, it's only Seven thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year and a half ago to get there in time for this October...

Q. Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)

A. And accomplish what?

Q. It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)

A. I'm not touching this one...

Q. My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia. Will you let her in? (South Africa)

A. Why? We do have toilet paper here...

Q. Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia? (Portugal)

A. ?......

Q. Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two? (UK)

A. ?....

Q. Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)

A. Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...

Q. Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)

A. No. Everybody stinks.

Q. Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)

A. Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples' garages, and most national parks...)

Q. Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)

A. This HAS to have been asked by a blonde...

Q. Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)

A. Yes. At Christmas.

Q. Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)

A. Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.

Q. Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)

A. Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.

Q. Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)

A. What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?

Q. Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A. Another blonde?

Q. Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

A. I love this one...there are no rattlesnakes in Australia

Q. Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

A. Face North and you should be about right

Q. Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A. Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.

Q. I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees (USA......where else...)

Q. Are there places in Australia where you can make love outdoors? (Italy)

A. Yes. Outdoors)

Q. Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

I work in a job dealing with the general public all day and I am not surprised at these questions. I used to wonder how our country elected some the liars and thieves that end up in public office. I don't wonder anymore. There are (sadly) many people out there that are really brain damaged.

To bad they aren't required to have a flashing RED light on their foreheads.........it would light up the night and warn the rest of us as to who they are! (before they open their mouths.)

Carl,

There's a Septic Tank Country singer (can't recall his name) who recorded a sort of monologue titled "Here's Your Sign". It had to do with Stoopid Peepul asking Stoopid questions being required to wear a sign that read "I'M STOOPID" :stupid: :stupid: :stupid:

Now, I may have miscalculated but the figures seem to add up to;

USA 7

Germany 5

UK 4

Sweden 2

Italy 2

France 2

Sth. Africa 1

Portugal 1

Hmmmmm, maybe 2many has only given us a selection taken from a greater total but I can't help wondering WHY the largest number of "STOOPID" questions were asked by my septic mates

:devious: :devious: :devious:

Rick.

Originally posted by 1 Bravo 6

Hmmmmm, maybe 2many has only given us a selection taken from a greater total but I can't help wondering WHY the largest number of "STOOPID" questions were asked by my septic mates

:devious: :devious: :devious:

Rick.

Hi Rick:

In our country anyone who can "stick a round peg in a round hole" is allowed (read encouraged) to procreate. Sadly this has resulted in the dilution of our gene pool to such an extent that STOOPID is becoming the norm. Instead of folks thinking (and doing) for themselves, a good many people expect the government and other public agencies to "hold their hand" though life and to protect them from themselves. It's very sad.

:stupid: :stupid: :stupid:

Yes Carl,

I do know what you mean mate.

We've got the rot here as well. :cry:

It seems that some are no longer willing to take responsibility for their own actions.

Such as the bloke who was attending a party, was three parts pissed, climbed over the ground floor balcony and dived into the pool.

He found out the hard way that it was actually a 6 inch deep water feature.

He had the gall to sue the owners claiming that they should have had a warning sign.-------------He won the case.

:stupid: :stupid: :stupid: :stupid:

Rick.

ROFL

Ah thats a good laugh...

I thought Australians were ment to be dumb?

Cheers

Chris Beattie

No Chris,

We Aussies aren't dumb. We just let the rest of the world THINK we are. They are then lulled into a false sense of superiority, become gullible and that way we can fool them every time. :stupid: :stupid: :stupid:

:devious: :devious: :devious: Rick.