If you're like most people, common everyday items look inert to you. But what you may not know is that many of them have a gender. For example. . .

Ziploc Bags -- Male, because they hold everything in but you can see right through them.

Copier -- Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but it can wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

Tire -- Male, because it goes bald, and often it's over-inflated.

Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it -- and, of course, there's the hot air part.

Sponges -- Female, because they're soft and squeezable and retain water.

Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.

Hourglass -- Female, because, over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

Remote Control -- Female . . . Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

I'm going to pass this one on.