Qantas

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and

problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)

(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute

descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

Originally posted by datto_240z

I was neva tort what QANTAS means in school... Doesn't say much for my school! :stupid:

Q:Queensland

A:And

N:Northern

T:Teritory

A:Airline

S:Service

Close, but NOT exactly correct!!

According to their website it is "Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services" Limited (QANTAS)

Originally posted by Bambikiller240

Close, but NOT exactly correct!!

According to their website it is "Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services" Limited (QANTAS)

That's what they want you to think... it's really something else;

Q: Queer

A: Australians

N: Number

T: Thousands

A: Around

S: Sydney

ROFL

won't touch that one , the aussie are a sensitive bunch

The funny thing about Qantas is that they have a very good safety record touch wood.

Funny joke all the same already got it in a email once but worth a second read .

An airline with a great safety record. Some say they are the luckiest airline still flying. They do a superb job even with the executive management team they suffer. I take my hat off to those that work for QANTAS as management is really trying to screw thier employes with individual contracts and reduced pay rate. A quick way to oblivion for a second line operator with a first class reputation.

now I climb down from my soap box.

cheers

Steve :classic:

The way I see it is that QANTAS must be just about due for their huge huge crash soon, so I shall steer clear. I mean everytime you get on a plane, you are sitting amongst thousands of components bought from the cheapest tender, its not a nice thought.

Datto 240Z,

Have a look in a dictionary mate I think you will find it is a word. Also if we're going to be picky, Northern Territory (with two R's) isn't a state, it's a territory. And my screen name is "Alfadog", thanks.

Originally posted by Alfadog

................. And my screen name is "Alfadog", thanks.

Do you drive an "Alpha"-Romeo?

Acronym Definition

QANTAS Queensland And Northern Territory Aerial Services Ltd.

Technically a Acronym is a word formed by the initial letters of a name. If you ask me it's not a word in a true sense.

So I'd say your both right. Datto_240z and Alfa.

However that's according to www.dictionary.com.

It didn't come up as a word so it's anyones guess.

Just trying to clear the air in here.

:tapemouth

I think that you will find in a proper dictionary 'Qantas' is accepted as a real word, not an acronym. That is, it's written as 'Qantas', not 'QANTAS'.

I'm not a fan of www.dictionary.com, it has several discrepancies.

Woo! an English competition!

I'll add my 2¢.

Whether Qantas is QANTAS as an Acronym, or Qantas as a name, as far as I understood it, both Acronyms and Names aren't officially words.

Modern dictionaries even "proper" ones are filled with all kinds of crap, not just words. The latest Collins and I think Oxfords even have common or cultural phrases, tons of acronyms and even names, just because they're in there, doesn't make them a "word" in the sense that I remember from school days at least.

Hence why I said "the only word in the dictionary" not "the only word". It was just meant to be a bit of trivia, geez.