Being lazy and not having read the entire thread, I have a suggestion that perhaps has not been tried yet.
Replace the spade connector on the end of the BY wire at the starter. It may “look” just fine, you may have even cleaned and tightened the metal contact. I had one where there was only one strand of wire still crimped under the terminal tangs and that strand (like the rest) were filthy and corroded. No way to get enough current flowing to engage the starter solenoid. Snip, strip, scrape any corrostion off of the bare wire, crimp a new 1/4 FM terminal, stuff it on the starter terminal.