1 Bravo 6

Hey Jim, You mention Kangaroo 198?. The "Kangaroo" exercises were held in the Shoalwater Bay Training area, north of Rockhampton C.Q. I was posted to the District Support Unit in Rockhampton for a few years. During one of the "Roo" exercises, I was on guard duty at the front gate one day when a group of Yanks who were waiting for a cab asked me if there were any dangerous animals in "the Bush" that they should be wary of. I mentioned that there were plenty of brown and king brown snakes and taipans, then told them that the animal to watch for was the Drop Bear. (Yair, THAT old one). I was asked to describe it and when I did, one septic said that it sounded like I was talking about the Koala Bear, "Those cuddly little things you see in travel brochures" he said. I pointed out to them that what they saw in photos were the tame, domesticated ones and that, in the wild, if you walked under their tree nest, they were likely to leap onto your back and scratch *#@^&% out of you. Being the nasty bugger I was then, I didn't tell them I was having them on and even these days, so many years after the event I can still have a chuckle when I think of those poor buggers wandering around the training area with their eyes glued to the trees. Believe it or not, I actuall like yanks. Rick.

Has to be that bumper bolt Jeff, Might be O.K. for a Japanese gentleman's tiny little hands but it's pure pain for big hands like mine. I had real trouble getting my hand back out of there. Bled like a stuck pig from the skin scraped off the back of my right hand and was in mortal fear of slicing my wrist. OHHH, the things we do for those we love. :stupid: Rick.

Yair Vicki, what Will said. I agree. Now, ...... maybe I'm suffering from short term memory loss but I don't recall seeing a jumper cable on any lists . What is it ???????? Gee, Will .....ikers, Will, Are you the only one over there who knows this lingo ??????????????? what's happened to Carl, Victor, Jeff and the rest. Or are you just beating them to the punch ?????????????????? Anyway, for tonight's installment, We say that INEFECTUAL/INCOMPETENT arseholes; Couldn't fart into a bottle. Couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag. Couldn't give away cheese at a rat's picnic. Couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding. Couldn't last a round in revolving door. Couldn't run a chook raffle in a country pub. Couldn't train a choko vine over a country dunny. Couldn't win if he started the night before. If he bought a kangaroo it wouldn't hop. Must have got his licence out of a Cornflakes packet. Only got one oar in the water. So wet you could shoot ducks off him. Sooky. Weak as a wet whistle. Weak as cat's wizz. O.K, let's hear yours mates. Rick.

Will, You've certainly outdone me on that one. Some of them are what we call Ball Tearers. (Means exceptionally bloody good). O.K. then, try these for size. ACCUPATIONS. Barber = Sydney Harbour (Rhyming slang). Bookmaker = bookie. Boundary rider = Topwire lizard. Carpenter = Chippie. Cattle thief = Duffer, Gully raker. Cattle station worker = Jackaroo (male), Jillaroo (female). Collector of empty bottles = Bottle-oh. Clergyman = Amen snorter, Bible basher, God botherer, Sky pilot. Dairy farmer = Cow cocky. Dentist = Fang carpenter, gum puncher. Dingo hunter = Dog stiffener. Doctor = Quack. Electrician = Sparkie. Farmer = Ground parrot, Cockatoo/Cockie. Land speculator = Land shark. Parking officer = Grey ghost. Plumber = Dunny diver. (A 'dunny' is a shithouse). Police = Blues, Boys in blue, Ducks and geese (rhyming slang), Wallopers. Prostitute = Chromo, Mallee root. Public servant = Shiny arse. Teacher = Chalkie. Tramp = Bagman, Sundowner, Swaggie, Swagman. Old people = Crumblies, Old crackers, Oldies, Wrinklies. Pregnant = Bun in the oven, In the club, In the pudding club, Preggers, Up the duff, Up the spout. Remote Australia = Back o' Bourke (town in the middle of nowhere), Beyond the Black Stump, Middle of nowhere, The never never, Outback, Where the crows fly backwards to keep the sun out of their eyes. Rick.

Just as a point of interest and for those who can't remember back that far, (I cheated and looked), Z-point started this off with a billboard showing Monica. :nervous: Rick.

LACHLAN, Are you learning a few things here mate ???? O.K. Shall we try another one????????? How about referrals to someone who is stupid, (or you septics would say, STOOPID). Brick short of a load. Bright as a two watt bulb. Couldn't run guts for a slow butcher. Couple of pies short of a grand final. Drives uphill with the clutch slipping. A few stubbies short of a sixpack. Going through life with the porch light on dim. Got space to sell between the ears. Hasn't got all four paws on the mouse. His lift doesn't go all the way to the top floor. The lights are on but there's nobody home. Not the full quid. Nothing between the ears. Only fifty cards in the pack. Sandwich short of a picnic. Short of numbers in the upper house/story. Snag short of a barbecue. Thick as a brick. Thick as the dust on a public servant's out tray. Three pots short of a shout. Wouldn't know his arse from his elbow. Rick.

Hmmmm, seems to me that a certain "Instigator" just might be having a whale of a time, sitting at his/her computer thoroughly enjoying him/her self, knowing that he/she has stirred up so many of our members. . You lot have allowed this person to literally take over the thread. I should imagine that most of us were enjoying the comments and points of view that were being expressed; I sure was. While I believe that he/she has as much right to comment as any other registered member, the fact that he/she remains incomunicado is entirely his/her option, however, I hold in disregard anyone who would stir the pot and cause disruption without having the moral fibre to at least make him/her self known. :tapemouth As I see it, the best thing everyone could do is, IGNORE HIM/HER. Now, where were we ???????????????????????????????????????????? Rick. Oh, by the way, Carl, old friend, old buddy, old pal, old mate, old........old ???????? What's the story behind the new avatar ???? Rick.

AAAHHHHHHH, I KNEW you yanks would have an undercover Slanguage. O.K. then, on to the next subject. Insults & Invective. 'ave a go ya mug. Bite ya bum. If you picked your nose your head would cave in. Go and take a running jump at yourself. Go dip your eye in cocky $^!#. I hope all your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny (shithouse) door down. I wouldn't wizz on you if you were on fire. I'll knock your teeth so far down your throat you'll have to stick a toothbrush up your arse to clean them. I've seen a better head on a glass of beer. Pull your head in. Put a cork in it.(shut up). What the bloody hell's crawlin' on you mate ?. You'd make a blowfly sick. If brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your hat off. wizz off. Up yours. Rick P.S. Carl, The Adventures Of Barry McKenzie might be described as the 60's version of Crocodile Dundee without the crocs and knives. He was a tall, thin bloke from the outback who wore a wide, wide brimmed hat and blundered his way around New York (I think), and generally gave real Aussies a bad reputation. Will, Your comment,"Usefull as an ashtray on a motorbike" is similar to one of ours; "Useless as a hip pocket on a singlet". Rick.

James, Have no regrets mate. Your views are just as important as the views of anyone else. At least you had the common sense to refrain from using foul language. (I'm sure you wouldn't do that ). I may not agree with some of your comments but I respect your right to have them. The quoted figures are a matter of deep concern however, what I find hard to believe is that the rebels are deliberately killing their own people. Life seems to have little value to them. Rick.

Thanks Jason, we're off to a good start. Rick.

A few months ago I used a few words and phrases of the Aussie slang, "strine". A few of the more "mature" members, (I won't say O.L.D.), actually understood me. In the book "Great Aussie jokes and slang it says; "Australia's rich and colourful 'slanguage' testifies to our verbal inventiveness and our irreverent approach to life". Hey CARL, do you remember ever having seen the Oz movie "The adventures of Bary McKenzie" back in the late 60's ?????????. Now you septic tanks are also a rather inventive lot and I wouldn't be at all surprised if you have a "Slanguage" of your own so, how about doing a trade ????? It's quite possible we might find some common terms. After all, there were quite a few thousand Yanks in Oz during WW2. I'll start with; Drunk / Intoxicated. Away with the pixies. Blind. Dead to the world. Elephant's trunk (rhyming slang). Flaked out. Full as a boot. Full as a fairy's phone book. Full as a fat woman's sock. Full as a goog. Full as a tick. Loaded. Paralytic. Pissed as a newt. Pissed as a parrot. Pissed as a possum. Rotten as a chop. Snakes hissed (rhyming). Stonkered. Tanked. Three parts gone. Three sheets to the wind. Under the affluence in incohol. If you decide to do a swap, I'll give you some good old Aussie insults you can try out on your mates. Might be fun. Rick.

Don't know how ya do it Carl, but you're definitely top dog in one upmanship. You beat me every time. However, I'm a patient bloke ......., one day ....... Rick.

Something my Grandfather taught me that I passed on to my son, is that you should always respect another man's opinion and never call him a fool, idiot, dickhead etc. just because his opinion differs from yours. Now, there's a very good reason for it. You see, the other bloke just might be right. Then who is the fool, idiot, dickhead etc. Rick.

You lot think you've got problems ???????? We have a champion player in the game of Follow The Leader, and just like you lot, we've voted him in for another term. I cant help wondering when Australia will become an American state. The latest Americanism is that we no longer have end of school year breakup parties. They are now refered to as bloody PROMS !!!!!!!!!!!! :tapemouth :tapemouth Now, don't misunderstand me. I like Yanks. I'm just concerned about OUR national identity. Rick.

CAA---AARL, Please humour this poor, uneducated, unsophisticated Ocker by explaining to him just what IS an "Electoral College". (An "OCKER" is an uncultured Aussie bloke). Rick.

Santa is getting ready to take his annual leave but, as usual, more and more problems kept coming up. Four of the elves get food poisoning, the trainee elves are on a "work slow" strike due to low wages, and the toy producing business falls further and further behind schedule. Then the missus tells him her mother is coming to visit. When Santa goes outside to harness the reindeer he finds that half of them have sauntered off to the waterhole for the afternoon because they don't feel appreciated. More stress. Then, when Santa begins loading the sleigh, a board cracks and his sack of toys falls off, slipping and sliding all over the snow. Frustrated, Santa goes into the house for a long glass of bourbon, but the elves have hit the liquor cabinet and there's nothing left to drink. In disgust, he throws his emoty glass down and it explodes into bits all over the floor. Just then, the doorbell rings and the cursing, grumbling Santa throws open the door. A little angel is standing on his doorstep with a great big xmas tree. The angel asks so sweetly, "Santa, where would you like me to put this?". And that, my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the xmas tree. Rick.

GOOD BLOODY GRIEF !!!!!!!!!!, This IS the Funnybone forum isn't it ?????????? Jeff, Methinks we have an eighteen year old who needs to grow up a little and get some maturity behind him before he forms such strong opinions and to ensure that those opinions are HIS and not passed down through the generations as so often happens. Perhaps a visit to "The Wall" might do him some good. The names of some of MY mates are on OUR wall. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. YOO HOO, CAA----AARL, Mate, all we've heard in the land Under Down Under recently has been about the American election. Noww, I have some questions I'd like answers too and the obvious choice of a highly intelligent, well read, man of the world to put these questions to is ...................YOU. I've heard references to the various "Electoral Colleges". Is that where politicians of all persuations learn to tell lies whilst keeping a straight face or; How to talk for hours without actually saying anything or; Be trained in the ability to make promises worded in such a away that they can't be held to those promises or; Do citizens who intend to vote in elections attend in order to understand the electoral system or; Learn how to vote. Now, We always hear the President refered to as George W. Bush. Is that George Dubblewe Bush, George UU bush, George Double You Bush, or; Couldn't mummy and daddy agree on William, Walter, Wobert etc. so decided on just a "W" ???????????????? Just trying to add a little levity to a thread that seems to be getting a bit serious. Your sickcerely, Rick the Wrecker, aka The Blunder from Down Under.

Now, that's my kind of joke. By the way, nice Labrador in your Avatar. Can she cook yet ???????? Rick.

Ummmmm, Carl, Sorry mate, but I just can't resist asking you whether or not your latest Avatar is a self portrait ??????????????????????????????????????????? Rick.

G'Day Lachlan, Y'know mate, I've always thought that if half the Libs/Nats were to swap places with half the Labs, we wouldn't notice the diff. For all their breast beating, patriotic, "I'm working for the benefit of the Australian people" statements, I reckon they're really only there for the huge super payout when they retire, which, even after just a few years, is considerably more than you'll retire with after a lifetime of work. Just ask anyone of my generation. Abas, Yair mate, it's compulsory all right, although we do have the option of paying the fine instead. Carl, Guess you must have your fingers/toes/eyes/arms/legs and, (ahem !! those as well), crossed for tomorrow (our time). Luck to ya mate. NOW, Just to get this thread back on track, A man has been suffering from terrible headaches for years and years. Finally he decided he couldn't stand the pain anymore. "Doctor, you gotta do something!' he pleaded. "Well, the latest cure for this type of thing is pretty severe, but we know it works", replied the doctor gravely. "It's castration". The man was horrified, but could put up with the headaches no longer. The next week, he underwent the operation. The headaches disappeared as the doctor had promised, and the man landed himself an interview with an important finance company. Needing a new suit for the interview, the man went shopping. "Looks like you take a size 38" said the salesman as he pulled some suits off the rack. "That's pretty good" said the man, "How did you know that?". "Mate, when you've been in this business as long as I have, you get to know this sort of thing". He then pulled out some underwear. "Hmmm, I guess a 36 for these", he said. "Well, you're wrong there", said the man, "I've been a 34 for years". "No, you're definitely a 36", insisted the salesman. "Look, I should know, I always wear 34". "Well, okay," said the salesman, "But they're going to pinch your balls and give you headaches". Rick.

Hey, Turbo, You can't blame ALL the Yanks mate, just those who voted for him. Remember, it's not compulsory for Yanks to vote as it is for us. I wonder if the outcome of the election would be the same if voting in America was compulsory ??? Rick.

Ahhhh, Kirby, I presume you meant M ucked up ??????????? Rick.

GOOD GRIEF GEORGE, Why, WHY,WHY,by all the Gods that mankind has ever worshipped, would you even CONSIDER trading your lovely Z for a Mustang ??????????????????????????????? Go to just about any car show and Mustangs are like heads. EVERYBODY'S got one !!!!!!!!! Seriously mate, I hope you don't decide to sell your lovely lady. However, if you do, I'm sure you will have considered the decision very carefully. And, ummm, I'll still talk to you mate. Rick.

G'Day Kirby, Back in January, '02, I purchased a NEW centre console for my '74 260 Z from All Z Parts. Total cost, (at that time), was $371.oo including GST and freight to Rockhampton. The original console was cracked right accross the console, just behind the choke lever, and continued almost all the way down the passenger side. I took it to a place in Rocky that specialises in plastic repair. It cost me $110.oo and lasted about two months. $110.oo wasted. I think you'll find that the same console fits both the 2 and 4 seaters as mine came with a hole in the rear end, (no jokes please), presumeably for an ash tray, that I covered up using a square of plastic taken from the old one. Hope that's of some help to you, Rick.

GEORGE, NO You'll be kicking yourself for years to come if you do. By George, George, DON'T DO IT !!!!!! Rick.