1 Bravo 6

For what it's worth, my "Precious" is a 8/74 260Z and she's about as stock as possible. Rick.

Two Mexican bandits were lost in the desert and close to death when suddenly; "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? .... eeet eees bacon, ... BACON". "Si, .. si, ... Luis, ... eeet smells like bacon to meee". With renewed energy, they struggled to the top of the next sand dune and see a tree loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ..... every kind of cured pig meat. "Pepe, Pepe, ... we ees saved!!! ees a bacon tree". "Luis, ... are you sure ees not a meerage? we is in the desert don't forget". "Pepe, .. when did you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon? .. ees not a meerage, ees a bacon tree". And with that, Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe trailing along behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. He is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath. "Pepe, .. go .. back .. ees .. not a .. bacon .. tree". "Luis, .. Luis, mi amigo, ... what ees eet?". "Pepe, ... ees a, Ees a, Ees a, Ees a, Ees a HAM BUSH" Rick :devious::devious:

Yep, I heartily agree with everything said in the previous posts. (Even Bill's comment). Bigoak, By the way mate, just thought you'd like to know that last night's minimum was 15c and today's maximum was around 28c with clear blue skies, the high tide was at about 6am and the fish were biting. Rick. :devious::devious:

G'Day Chris, Sounds like Dad and the sons all get along pretty well. That's great!!!. When my son graduated from his first uni degree, we presented him with a well used but roadworthy Datsun Stanza. I figured that was the best way for him to "learn about cars". During the three years he had it, he installed a two way radio on the ceiling, painted it twice, (white then black, originally green), had the rear right brake lining catch fire, installed "Knight Rider" style LED's in the grill and blew up two engines. The car wound up in the wrecking yard, as did my Mazda ute when he discovered that it wouldn't take a bend in the road as well as a sports car would. After that, he'd learned his lessons the hard way and has developed into a reasonably safe driver. He's now 40 years old but I haven't even let him sit behind the wheel of my little "Precious" in case he reverts to his previous lead footed youth. Rick. :devious::devious:

Will wonders if having sex on the sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asked a priest for his opinion on this question. The priest said, after consulting the Bible, "Will my son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive sex is work, and is not permitted on Sundays". Will thought to himself, "What does a priest know about sex anyway?". So; Will went to a minister, a married man, experienced, for the answer. He received the same reply, "Sex is work and not for the Sabbath". Not pleased with the reply, Will went to the ultimate authority, a man of thousands of years of tradition and knowledge ..... a Rabbi. The Rabbi thought about the question for a few minutes and said, "Will my son, sex is definitely play". Will replied, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?". The Rabbi softly answered, "If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it". Rick. BOOM BOOM. :devious::devious:

Post pics mate. It makes it easier to understand problems. Besides, .... it should be interesting. I'd suggest new battery, new cables, clamp the battery down before further use and a thorough check of the entire electrical system by an auto sparky ..... for starters. As I said, pics, mate, pics. Rick. :devious::devious:

Now, .... THAT"S my kind of joke. Thanks mate, it's a good one. Rick. :devious::devious:

G'Day Carl, Fortunately, "Precious" has the original engine, automatic gearbox and, (I think), diff. which would be 3.5 wouldn't it ?? She's running 195/70 R14's which, I understand, is correct for a 260Z. By the way, those weathershields are GRRRRREAT MATE. Barb can't stand having the wind blowing her hair around, (I wouldn't either if I had enough to worry about), and usually winds the passenger window up. With the weathershields fitted, she remarked on how much wind they deflect, and was happy to leave the window wound down. Rick.

Billy my lad, OLD MAN ?????????? Mate, ... in actual fact, I'm the oldest 25 year old there is. Rick. :devious::devious:

The car club I belong to, (The All Classic Motor Club), ran a speedo check for the members today. My participation called for a 100 km round trip but it was worth it as my little "Precious" was in bad need of a good run. (For a change, the rear carby didn't flood once):classic: The club used a hand held speed gun and large digital readout so drivers could see for themselves what speed they were doing. We do the speedo check once a year on a usually quiet stretch of road on the south side of Rockhampton (Central Queensland). There were quite a few surprised drivers, including me. I knew "Precious" was travelling slower than the speedo read but I was sure surprised just how much slower. When the speedo read 60kph, the readout was 51kph. At 80kph, the readout was 70kph and at 100kph it was 86kph. So the old girl is really 10kph slower than the speedo indicates. No wonder so many cars overtake me. Rick. :devious::devious:

I HATE TAILGATERS !!!!! Provided there's nobody behind him, I turn my lights on. Often gives the impression that I've touched the brakes. It feels good to see the front of the tailgater's car drop lower as he hits his brakes. Guess I'm just a nasty old bugger. Rick. :devious::devious:

A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plate each Sunday. Someone suggested to him that perhaps he might be able to hypnotize the congregation into giving more. "And how would I go about doing that?" he asked. "It's very simple. First you turn up the air conditioner so that the auditorium is warmer than usual. Then you preach in a monotone. Meanwhile, you dangle a watch on a chain and swing it in a slow arc above the lectern and suggest that they put twenty dollars in the collection plate". So, the very next Sunday, the reverend did as suggested and, low and behold, the plates were full of twenty dollar notes. Now, the preacher did not want to take advantage of this technique each and every Sunday. So he waited for a couple of weeks and then tried his mass hypnosis again. Just as the last of the congregation was becoming mesmerized, the chain on his watch broke and the watch hit the lectern with a loud thud and springs and parts flew everywhere. "$^!#!!" exclaimed the pastor. It to them a week to clean up the church. Rick. :devious::devious:

Hey there Craig, Regarding that thumbnail of the green Zed. When I first got "Precious", she had a chrome strip running from the rear of the door towardes the rear of the car, roughly where the two colours in the thumbnail merge, and curving around the rear, ending at the edge of the hatch. (On both sides of the car of course). It was held in place by clips through holes in the body. I had it removed and the holes filled when the body work was done 'cause I thought it looked YUK. Unfortunately, I didn't get a pic of it. Has anyone else seen anything like that ????. Rick.:devious::devious:

Hmmmm, Let's see now. Monday; Shorts, T shirt, runners. Leisurely drive into town, A/C on. Temp in mid 20's C. Tuesday; Shorts, T shirt, thongs. Worked in garden. Wife played golf. Temp in mid 20's C. Wednesday; Shorts, T shirt, bare feet. Painted spare room. Temp mid 20's. Thursday; Shorts, T shirt, golf shoes. Played golf. Barb worked in garden. Temp. high 20's C. Friday; Shorts, T shirt, golf shoes. Barb and I played golf. Temp high 20's. Looking forward to the weekend. As the saying goes, "Queensland !!great one day, perfect the next". As Bill said, Snow ???? what's that ??? Immigration is an option mate. We need more Zeds here. Rick. :devious::devious:

Bill got a job in a small chemist shop but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Stephen, the owner, had had about enough and warned Bill that the next sale he missed would be his last. Just then, Will came in coughing and he asked Bill for their best cough syrup. Try as he might, Bill could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Stephen's warning,he sold Will a box of laxative pills and told him to take them all at once.Will did as Bill said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post. Stephen had seen the whole thing and came over to ask Bill what had happened. "Will wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I substituted laxatives and told him to take them all at once", Bill said. "Laxatives won't cure a cough", Stephen shouted angrily. "Sure they will", Bill said, pointing at Will leaning on the lamp post. "Look at him!!! Will's AFRAID to cough". Rick. :devious::devious:

It's O.K. James, .... no abuse forthcoming this time mate. (I told our Northern friends a long time ago about the close relationships between N Zeders and their wooly family pets). Hey "E", I think that one was first told to Captain Cook. Rick. :devious::devious:

For us down here the 1st was yesterday but you still sucked me right in. I thought, "Oh, no!!!!!!! ... the poor bugger and went straight to the thread intending to offer my condolences. DeMoore, .... you are cruel, cruel, cruel. Z Speed, .... chuck on some feathers for me will ya?????. Rick.

An Amish family went to New York and visited all the massive multy story department stores. They had never left their home before and were spellbound by what they saw. The father and his son visited a particular store and were fascinated by the lifts, although they did not know what they were or what they did. "What are those silver things with doors?", asked the son. "I don't know .... let's stand here and watch for awhile", said the father. Shortly and old lady on a walking frame struggled up to the lift door, pressed the call button, and went in. A minute or so later, the door opened and out stepped a gorgeous young blonde with legs up to her armpits, wearing a micro-micro-mini skirt. "Quick", said the father to his son, "Go and get your mother". That was the ,main course, ... here's dessert. God was talking to one of his angels. "BOY!!!, I just created a twenty four hour period of alternating light and darkness on earth and I feel worn out". The angel said, "What are you going to do now?". God said, "I'm gonna call it a day". BOOM BOOM. Rick. :devious::devious:

Has anyone seen the book "The World's Worst Cars" by Craig Cheetham ??? Makes interesting reading. (It's o.k. fellows, ... don't get your knickers in a knot, .... he doesn't even mention the Zed). Rick. :devious::devious:

Huh????????? Carl's in the Cosanostra ???????????? CRIKY !!!! I'm gonna be REEEAL nice to him from now on. Rick. :devious::devious:

Joseph, a Jewish man, had dedicated his life to circumcising young boys. As he was getting on in years, he decided to retire, so he took his huge sackful of foreskins to the shop and asked the shopkeeper to make him a retirement present with the foreskins. The shopkeeper agreed and told him to come back the next day. Joseph went back the next day and asked the shopkeeper what he had made. The shopkeeper produced a very fine wallet. Joseph was pleased with the workmanship but said, "It's very, very nice but isn't it a little small for such a large bag of foreskins?". The shopkeeper replied, "Yeah, ... but if you stroke it, it turns into a briefcase. Rick. :devious::devious: