Joke: Male & Female Classes

[That Ozzy Guy]

This might have been posted as it's an old one but some of you might not have seen it so here you go.

>SERIES ONE - OPEN TO MEN ONLY!

>

>

>Evening classes for men. Starting this month! Note: due to the complexity

>and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept a

>maximum of eight participants each.

>

>

>Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays. Step by step with slide presentation.

>

>Topic 2. Lavatory paper rolls: do they grow on the holders? Round-table

>discussion.

>

>Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures

>and explanatory graphics.

>

>Topic 4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate and fly

>into the kitchen sink? Examples on video.

>

>Topic 5. Loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant other.

>Helpline and support groups.

>

>Topic 6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right

>place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open

>forum.

>

>Topic 7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.

>Graphics and audio tape.

>

>Topic 8. Real men ask for directions when lost. Real-life testimonials.

>

>Topic 9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel

>parks? Driving simulation.

>

>Topic 10. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife.

>Online class and role playing.

>

>Topic 11. How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises,

>meditation and breathing techniques.

>

>Topic 12. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays,

>anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be

>late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

>

>

>

>SERIES TWO - CLASSES FOR WOMEN..

>

>Women think they already know everything, but wait .training courses are

>now available for women on the following subjects:

>

>1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

>2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

>3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

>4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game

>5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet To

>6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

>7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First

>8. Communication Skills II : Thinking Before Speaking

>9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

>10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

>11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

>12. Introduction to Parking (hahahahahahaha)

>13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

>14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

>15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

>16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

>17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

>18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

>19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His

>20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

>21. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have

>22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice>>

>23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

>24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

>25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

[Arizona240z]

Do I get a bulk discount for signing my wife up for all those classes????

p.s. much better than that last attempt at a joke Ozzy posted!

[Bambikiller240]

Originally posted by Arizona240z

p.s. much better than that last attempt at a joke Ozzy posted!

That other post was supposed to be a joke? I thought it was a real document relased under the Freedom of Information act!

just pulling your leg Dwight!

Carl